This is my brain..... in part, at least.

Moving.

2010-02-18T13:32:00.003-06:00

This is the last Blogger blog entry for me - they will no longer support FTP here in a few weeks, and I don't want to mess with their new system. You can find my new blog (inlcuding all of this content!) at http://lydaalexander.com/wordpress/.

WFMW: Lent.

2010-02-17T12:20:00.002-06:00

So today is Ash Wednesday. Thus the start of Lent.

Picking something for Lent was hard this year. I don't always do it, especially now that I go to the Church of Christ - they aren't big on liturgical stuff, so it gets lost sometimes. And I don't always go the traditional route, something I give up something by way of an attitude or feeling or somethign else abstract, or use the time to cultivate a good habit or whatever. But I digress.

So this year was hard.

Back, before... before I found out I was pregnant, when i was still trying to figure out what I wanted to do about having another child, to try for VBAC or go with the c-section or whatever... back then, I decided that if/when we did this again, I would cut out most of my refined starches - white sugar, white potatoes, white flour, the whole bit - in an attempt to have a normal sized baby (and thus avoid another c-section - most docs won't VBAC with 9+ pounders, so I was trying to tip the scales a bit).

Fast forward to yesterday... I am still weighing the options of VBAC, but given the short time frame since my last, my amount of anxiety over having another labor/birth experience as traumatic as the last, an a huge number of other factors... it's looking more like a c-section. Which has actually given me a fair bit of peace, which is somehting I didn't expect. So yeah. I'm all good with it. But my "avoid refined starches to avoid an OMG big baby" plans... went right out the window, because 1) I figured out early on it probably won't matter so much and 2) ummm.... life. So refined starches are easy, whole foods are hard and take time and can't be bought through a drive-through window.

Add all this to the fact that I'll be on a cruise the beginning of next month... yes, this year is hard.

So I decided that refined starches is too much to give up, given my life craziness, sanity level, and travel plans. But... White Potatoes. I can totally give that up for 40 days, right? No hash browns, no french fries, no baked potatoes, no potato soup.... And maybe, it will have the effect of reducing my overall refined start intake (how could it not?), thus possibly helping me to not grow a giant baby, lol.

Either way, I can probably eat healthier without them (especially the fries).

So that's what works for me for Lent this year.

For more sharp Works for Me Wednesday tips, head over to Kristen’s at We Are That Family.

“You get used to it. Or you suffer a psychotic episode.”

2010-02-15T11:09:00.005-06:00

This. Actually, that sums up just about exactly where I am. Except maybe - just maybe, I'm a little closer to the psychotic episode than I would care to admit.

I'm joking. A little.

So this week. This week has been hard. Chad's working nights, flight-following for his crew, I've been sick, plus I'm still exhausted from being pregnant (um. Consider this a blog announcement, I guess. I'm too tired to do it up right. we're due August 17th.), plus Brianna's going through her second (third?) section of separation anxiety... and yeah. Crazy stuff abounds. I send a fiery email to my MMO group about having no life and them wanting every second of what I have. True story. I felt a little bad afterward.

But... we are surviving. And. We are making progress.

So. I'm going to play "Not Me! Monday." Here goes:

I did not let Brianna sleep in the swing in my room pretty much all night several nights in a row because it was easier than fighting with her to stay asleep in her room by herself. Also, on Saturday night when I decided she needed to stay in her room to sleep - all night, it was not because the swing batteries were dead, and I couldn't find a screwdriver. I did not sleep in her room on the floor for over an hour, to make sure she was really asleep. And last night, I most certainly did not give in and take cold medicine, which I knew would cause me to be too drugged up to find my way out of the bed when she woke up, and I did not let her cry it out in the middle of the night because of the aforementioned lack of direction out of the bed.

For more Not Me! Monday, head over to MckMama's blog.

In unrelated news, I had an awesome Valentine's yesterday, in spite of the fact that we had no babysitter, and Chad had to work all night (and the night before). If you have (a ton) of money to spend on dinner at some point, I highly recommend Killen's in Pearland. Don't be fooled by the outside - it's a really nice steakhouse, not a honky tonk, lol. And it was good. And Brianna behaved, so all was well.

2010-02-01T14:54:00.003-06:00

Brianna,

Today you are a year old. Even as I write that, it is hard for me to understand. An entire year. Of you. It doesn't seem like it could have possibly been that long.

And yet, there you are. You've grown so much from the little tiny thing we brought home from the hospital... You're independent and smart and stubborn and all of the great things I could have hoped for you when you were born. You constantly amaze me with the things you learn and understand - you pick up so much, even when we're not really sure we're teaching you. You have an amazingly sweet spirit - you love people, and animals, and seem to make friends wherever we go.

You are walking - running, and want to be on your own feet everywhere we go. Even though you only have two teeth, you love grown-up food and would eat chicken at every meal if we let you. You love to give hugs and kisses, and this morning, for the first time, you responded to my request to "give mommy kisses" by planting a big slobbery toddler kiss on my cheek. You understand so much more of the world that I would have thought possible for a one-year-old.

I hope your next year is as special and amazing as your first - and that you every bit as much this year as you did last year. I am starting to miss my baby - but I am loving the girl you are turning into, and looking forward to seeing you grow even more as a person day by day.

Happy birthday, sweet girl.

Love,
Mommy

Better late than never...

2010-01-08T15:38:00.003-06:00

So. Let me see if I can sum up.

I did NaNo this year... and only fell short by about 7000 words (I'm going to blame sickness and travel for not winning this year. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it). It was awesome, and I will probably participate again in 2010. 'Nuff said.
Had a very awesome (but completely crazy and also full of drama on pretty much every front) trip home for Christmas and New Years. Did not visit half the people we intended to, but visited a few we weren't planning to, so I guess it worked out. Brianna had a great time and now has way too many toys that make noise.
I got to hold my first ever nephew! When he was only a few hours old! And it was awesome. I am an Aunt. A *real* aunt, no matter what other people might tell you about. And that's all I have to say about that, as well.
I made a ton of New Years resolutions. Sadly, most of them aren't blog appropriate quite yet. Suffice it to say, not much has changed (resolution-wise) since this time last year. Except I've given up on the losing weight thing - my goal is to not gain a ridiculous amount of weight this year. I figure that one's more attainable, lol.
Brianna will be a year old in a couple of weeks. Blows my mind. She's walking (running), chattering up a storm (there's words in there, but we don't understand them yet), and generally finding every bit of trouble she can to get into. She is very good at getting into trouble :-)
And that's really all I have to say for the moment. I will really try to get online and update a little more frequently, but I got a half-dozen Lego video games for Christmas, so I'm not sure how well that will actually go ;-)

Would you forgive me love / If I danced in your shower

2009-12-15T15:47:00.002-06:00

So I suck at updating. Welcome to my life, dears.

Brianna is walking. And has a tooth. Both of these things are awesome and also scary. The good news? we mostly weaned before the appearance of said tooth.
Also, she has given up on formula. She weaned her own sweet self onto cows milk, which is early, earlier than I had intended, but I'm rolling with it. I'm just trying to make sure she gets enough iron - and we'll all be good.
And she's eating table food like it's going out of style. She took down an entire happy meal Sunday night, while we were killing time waiting to see if Chad was going to get admitted to the hospital overnight - long story. The point is, she's only 10-months old, and ate 4 chicken nuggets and all her fries. And drank 8 oz of milk. There is no way a child that small should be able to hold that much, lol.
I did NaNoWriMo this year. I didn't win, but i came really close - 43000 words or so. I blame my being sick, and out of town for the last weekend in Nov for not winning. But it was a pretty good experience overall, at any rate.
Getting ready for the Great Christmas Tour - with an added complication of a 10-month-old added to the already crazy 12+-hour drive with dog and cat and presents. If you want to get together whilst we are back home - let me know, and we'll see what we can do.
Also, Brianna will have a new little cousin (on her Daddy's side) sometime this month. Probably sooner rather than later. We're looking forward to meeting him!

There are other things, but my mind is mushy. Being sick (all the time) sucks, and I'm hopping to be done with it soon. (Probably just in time to create another germ carrier to make us sick all the time, lol).

to write... or not to write.

2009-09-15T14:56:00.001-06:00

So it's September. Which means it's almost October. which means (you guessed it) November is fast approaching. And November is NaNoWriMo. Which means that this year - like every year before it - I'm going to spend the next couple of months lamenting the fact that I'm not a writer.

By a writer, I don't neccessarily mean published or publishable (although that would be awesome). Nor do I mean that I would want to do it fulltime. I just mean having the ability to put words on paper so that it tells a story in a way that someone else can appreciate it.

I aspire to write, don't get me wrong. I even, occasionally, attempt to write. And then I go back and read what I attempted to write... and it sucks, y'all. I mean, it is really cringeworthy. REALLY. Not being modest, here. All of my stories devolve into plotless meandering nothings, populated by ridiculous characters that have think and act like middle schoolers, whatever their age is supposed to be. And that makes me sad.

And so my fear of being bad at writing keeps me from writing - writing, in my mind, is a hobby that isn't much fun if you're not good at it... unlike, say, RockBand, which is arguably more fun if you are not good at it (as long as you turn on No Fail).

But then I think about some of the books I've read - truely horrible works that somehow managed to get published, juvenile one-dimensional characters and all. And I think... surely, my writing isn't that bad, is it? Couldn't I write a story that would be good enough, at least, for me to allow someone else to look at it? Or maybe just good enough for me to go back and look at, without wanting to destroy it?

So this year. I will write. And I probably won't finish. But I will not let my fear of being bad at it stop me from trying, this time. At the end, I probably still won't consider myself a "writer"... but who knows. Maybe I'll learn something in the process.

milestones...

2009-08-24T12:14:00.001-06:00

As of today, I have been with Chad for 1/3 of my life. Which seems totally crazy - and yet, completely believable all at the same time. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else :-)

the hardest to learn was the least complicated

2009-07-30T13:44:00.002-06:00

Things I've learned today:

There are no bathing suits* that will make my poor post-baby body look like anything resembling someone who has never had a baby.
Target either never sold, or is now sold out of, one-piece bathing suits. Target, how could you fail me like this?
Tweets, which seemed insightful at first glance, are even more insightful and make much more sense in context.
Sunkist is sweeter and more caffeinated than I remember.
Sugar + Caffeine + not enough sleep = super wired. I don't know why I forgot this. My eyeballs are pinging. Seriously.
Having my brain moves faster than I can type is problematic.

That is all.

* at least at shops that I can afford to shop at

just dance, gonna be okay / da-doo-du-dum

2009-07-29T14:15:00.002-06:00

I'm a-gonna have house guests, I'm a-gonna have house guests... and talk, and do fun things, and go to the beach! And maybe be a girl for a while.

Although the going to the beach thing might be interesting as I don't currently have a bathing suit that fits, and since I'm a mommy now it's generally frowned upon to go skinny-dipping in the ocean (at least in front of other people's kids). Although, come to think of it, it was probably frowned upon before i was a mommy, too. So we'll see what happens - I'll probably either end up wearing an ill-fitting one-piece swimsuit from high school (oh yes, I still have it), or an ill-fitting two-piece from before I had stretch marks and 25 pounds of baby fat. Either way, it should be fun.

And Brianna has a bathing suit, at least, so it should make for some cute pictures (as long as I stay out of them!).

Man there's so many times / I don't know what I'm doin' / Like I don't know now

2009-07-28T11:32:00.003-06:00

Be thinking about my dad - he's in the hospital again, and we don't really know why. Apparently (I get all my news 2nd hand at best) last night he started getting really really confused - like he thought he and mom were married in 1988 (try '79?), and that I was born in February (of this year) and lots of other stuff like that. At first, they thought maybe it was his blood sugar, but apparently it isn't, so now he's on the neurology floor of the hospital, waiting for the doctors to figure it out. CT scan showed nothing any more abnormal than usual, but they tend to be pretty unreliable for Dad since he's had so many head issues. So we're waiting for the MRI, and whatever else they care to run while he's there.

Meanwhile, I'm full of nervous energy (not in a good way), and running on caffeine and adrenaline. The baby hasn't slept much, and i have slept even less, and I'm second guessing my parenting abilities (at least as far as sleep scheduling goes...). So here's some snark, to hopefully help me diffuse some of my negative energy, lol.

Five things for five people who will (probably) never read them:

You're better off without him. Just don't immediately latch yourself onto the next piece of driftwood that you see - it's ok to be single for more than 5 minutes.
If you have to constantly tell me that something you're doing isn't "bad", you might want to take a second look. Are you justifying to me, or yourself?
The things that bug you now will only be amplified as time goes on - can you live with that? Really?
You have family everywhere around you - don't take that for granted, even if they are crazy. You'll miss them when you leave, I promise. (I do).
Honesty is really the best policy. And it is way less annoying than being lied to. Even on the little stuff.

I'll endure the rain / I will wait an hour more

2009-07-24T13:16:00.004-06:00

Daycare crisis resolved. Yay! We found a school that looks like it may be a better fit for us, and is way cheaper (which was surprising). They (by what can only be the grace of God) had *1* spot in their infant room. All of the other good places were full, or even had waiting lists (I was told at one school they would have room for a 6-month old in February. Which is more than 6 months from now). So we're very glad it worked out. There was much stress in the interim.
Tonight is Parents Night Out. So Chad and I are going out, sans baby, who will be in good company with other little children. No clue what we're going to do yet - dinner or something? At the very least, we're going to go somewhere and pretend that we are real people and not worry about the stroller or when the baby ate last or if she's getting fussy (unless she's so fussy they call us to get her). That's the plan, anyway.
Tomorrow is scrapbooking day again. Yay for getting out! We'll see how much I get done (I need to print more pictures...)
It looks like our insurance will pay for the leaky windows. So yay for that... now we just have to get the work done. And figure out how to do it while still living in the house, since we'll pretty much need to rebuild the back wall of the house. Lucky for me, Chad gets to deal with the logistics of all that.
I watched The Watchmen this week. I don't know what I expected, but that sure wasn't it... at the end of the movie? I still wasn't sure exactly what the point of it was, or who was a good guy and who was a bad guy. Or if there even were good guys and bad guys. And what was up with Dr. Manhattan's super-anatomically-correct nakedness? Anyway. It was ok, but not really great. Maybe if I read the graphic novel or something, it would have made more sense.
I found out this week that not only did the guy who plays Jim Brass on CSI have a bit part Mrs. Doubtfire... he was also in 3 Men and a Baby, and a ton of other random stuff. imdb.
Leverage is in it's new season, and I think it's just as good (or maybe better?) than last season. Funny stuff - when I have time for TV :-)

For more 7 quick takes posts, go to Conversion Diary.

A couple drops and they all start coming down

2009-07-21T10:28:00.002-06:00

Crazy, crazy weekend. Seriously.

Chad was called to KSC, so he left early early Friday morning (he's back now, yay!) - but we didn't know he was going until Thursday night, so it was cray and last minute and stuff. But I survived Friday, just a little lonely and tired from dealing with Brianna, who was a little fussier than normal.

Saturday, we drove all over the place, as Brianna was only happy when we were moving in the car or when she could see something new and different. So we went to Hobby Lobby, Michaels, the Pearland mall - and even drove down to the Baybrook mall, just in time for it to start raining there, and for the power to go out for a few minutes. But overall, the day wasn't too bad. After (Brianna's) dinner, I managed to give her a bath by myself, and took her to sit on the porch swing and go to sleep. It took her a while, and about hte time she started to doze off, a storm blew in. Once it started raining, I went to head inside... I had just gotten to the door when the hail started! I put the baby in her bed and checked the weather - no storm warnings. So I called Chad, to see what he was up to - by this time, I couldn't see the back fence or the end of the driveway through the wind and rain...

While I was on the phone, I realized that there was water pouring in the back door. *Pouring* in. The wind was pushing all the rain right into the back of the house... I went upstairs, and water was pouring in both the nursery window, and our bedroom windows. And the power went out! So I was trying to mop everything up in the dark. Thankfully - at least the baby slept.

Eventually, it stopped raining. Which was good, as I had run out of towels. I was so tired, I went to bed without dinner!

Brianna was up every hour overnight, and I was exhausted by Sunday morning... but i had to go to church, and there was a tea for the preacher's wife, and I had all this stuff to do... so I put the dog out in the yard, and got me and the baby both ready for church. I went to let her back in - and she wasn't in the back yard. She was in the front yard. I thought the yard guys had left the gate open... nope. The storm messed up the fence, so now the gate won't shut. Walking around the yard... I saw that the storm had also exploded our shed. The one we replaced after Ike. Note to future self: Rubbermaid sheds are not weather-proof.

I sent Chad a note, and then headed for church (forgot breakfast) - and then started helping set up the tea (whilst holding a fussy baby!). Luckily for me, there was a ton of food (not diet friendly food, but honestly, I didn't care). So the tea went well, and I managed (with help) to keep Brianna entertained. Once we went home, I worked on gettign her to sleep - which eventually worked, lol. I read part of the no-cry sleep solution book, and went to bed myself. Brianna was still up a lot, but not as much...

Monday morning, she was sooooo fussy. I took her to daycare, and they told me they thought she had thrush! I looked in her mouth, and sure enough, there it was. I felt dumb. So I took her to the doctor, and got medicine for both of us. And took her back to daycare. And come home, to work for a while.

When I picked her up from daycare, her teacher handed me a note saying the daycare was closing. On Friday. Well, shit. Friday?! Seriously?! I was on a waiting list for like, 8 weeks to get into this place! How am I going to find another in just a few days?!

So yeah. I'm working from home and looking at daycare places today. It's been so long since I first looked, it's like starting over - but Chad's supposed to come with me to a couple places today. I'm so frustrated, because Brianna just got settled at this place, and now we have to learn a new routine and a new set of people... Blah.

At least Chad's home to deal with the insurance people. I told him he's never ever ever allowed to travel for work again, unless I can go, too, lol.

Cause perfect only makes you crazy / There is no way that it can save me

2009-07-17T12:50:00.006-06:00

By an interesting set of happenstances, it looks as thought I may have a great deal of free time this weekend. (Assuming you can count any time spent baby wrangling as "free time", anyway). My goals: Not to watch too much TV, to actually accomplish something, and possibly several somethings. More to prove I *can* than anything else. We'll see how that actually works out.
Brianna's doing fine, still fat and happy and we finally got rid of the ear infections. Yay! She's sitting very well now, and trying to pull herself up to a sitting position from laying down (she still needs some help). She loves her solid food, and has been eating like a champ (even prunes!). But not sleeping. Combinations of snuggling her lovey and being swung on the porch swing usually get her to go to sleep... but staying asleep is another story - we've been up 4-5 times several nights, and it sucks (for me anyway). So yeah. Might impact the "getting stuff done" goals of this weekend.
More geek humor, because that's the kind of girl I am.
It seems I spend a lot of time these days asking myself questions - and typically ones that don't have good answers (and mostly parenting related these days). Stuff like, Am I doing this *right*? Do I feed her enough? Too much? Do they feed her too much at daycare? Why am I so behind? Should we be doing more educational activities, whatever that means? Should she still be using a paci? Should she be using a sippy cup? Am I ruining her teeth by letting her nurse to sleep at night? Why are we not sleepign through the night? Will I ever have time to read The No Cry Sleep Solution, to try to solve this? Do we want more kids? When? Should I get a new ob/gyn? When am I going to make it to the dentist? When do I need to take the baby to the dentist? ... ... ... Most of these questions occur to me at like, 4am. Not conducive to great problem solving. But, I guess it all goes with the territory.
I joined a scrapbooking group, which has been fun. they meet a couple times a month to work on pages and socialize and stuff, so I went last weekend and had a great time (even if I only got one page done). It's odd to get out and be social again - I'm kind of out of my comfort zone, but that might be a good thing.
Also went to the local La Leche League meeting - again more being social. They were really nice, not the crazy-breastfeeding-nazi people that I half expected, lol. Lots of good information, and good discussion with other mommies. Still haven't solved my supply problem, but at least I know I'm not alone. And I'm getting out! And talking to people! So I feel a little less isolated.
And I have more socialness this weekend - there's a Women's Tea at church for the new preacher's wife, and I signed up to help, and to bring finger sammiches (which means Sunday morning will be more crazier than usual, lol). Slowly, I'm getting the hang of this whole non-hermit thing. It was so much easier in college... there, you had to work to be a hermit. In the real world, you have to work *not* to be. So Yeah. I'm working on it :-)

For more 7 quick takes posts, go to Conversion Diary.

This is the cow with the crumpled horn...

2009-07-01T10:01:00.003-06:00

So sleep has become a battle at our house. Brianna, going to sleep, at night, in her bed, at a reasonable time, is just something that hasn't been happening. Every night, we go through the same thing - culminating in a whiny, overtired infant who only goes to sleep after an hour (or more) of being held, rocked, and swung, and a mommy who gets nothing done and gets to bed late.

We've been trying to get a consistent bedtime routine. We tried reading stories, lavender lotion/bath stuff, and a ton of other things to help her wind down and sleep. But nothing seemed to help much - I had almost decided that it was a phase we would have to weather.

But then - I saw on one of my mommy boards, an idea to try. So. I tried it. Monday night, I took one of Brianna's soft fuzzy animal things (it's hard to describe, it's like a little blankie, but the center of it is gathered up and made into a little cow. Sounds odd, but it's cute, and really soft), and while i was running through our bedtime routine, I stuffed it in my shirt. Yes, I know this sounds crazy. You should have seen me walking around the hosue with a lovey stuffed in my shirt for an hour. Luckily, Chad was working late that night. He might have had me committed. When it was time to put her to sleep, I put her in the swing (I chickend out of trying the bed right away), and gave her the now-mama-scented lovey. She snuggled it, and talked to it, and was asleep within five minutes. Success!

Last night, we tried the same thing, except - the lovey was already mama-scented, so no need to walk around with a cow in my shirt. And. We actually put her straight in the crib. Gave her the lovey, and she did the same thing - snuggle, chatter, and off to sleep. Success again!

This morning, she was a little whiny getting up to go to daycare, and cried in her car seat... I gave her the lovey, and she was happy.

So that's what works for me. Hopefully, it will keep working! And hopefully, we'll never lose that cow, 'cause I'm sure that would be a meltdown, lol.

For more Works for me Wednesday tips, go to We are THAT Family. (I didn't follow this weeks theme, but I think that's still ok... I didn't have any great recipes to share, since most of my cooking lately has involved driving through a fast food joint, lol).

2009-06-26T12:35:00.005-06:00

Brianna's sitting! well, sort of, anyway - she sits on very stable surfaces (like the floor, not the couch or a mattress - if you put her hands down to help prop her up. But still, it makes me happy. And also scared - here comes the crawl (otherwise known as the ability to get into everything in site!).
Today was the first day I got dressed for work, looked in the mirror, and actually felt like I was looking at me, not my head put on someone else's body. So there's at least light at the end of the tunnel for my post-pregnancy body image issues. In a related note, I may quite possibly buy an entire work wardrobe of crimson and black.
Speaking of post-pregnancy body woes... My feet are bigger. Like, at least a half a size. Enough that most of my shoes are uncomfortable, and some of them I can't even get on at all. Someone warned me this would happen, but I don't think I believed them. Anyone interested in a closet full of shoes?
I hate it when people butt into my parenting and inform me that I'm doing it wrong. For instance, the whole breastfeeding thing. I would never. Never. Never tell a mom that was using formula that she's not doing it right, that she's somehow hurting her child by not breastfeeding. There are so many reasons why it might not work for that person at that time - and in the end, it's totally a personal decision. My decision was to breastfeed, as long as possible. This isn't always easy. My doctor agrees it's the best choice for my situation, and as long as I can do it... keep on it! But the daycare people (or rather, one of them) have been going on from day 1 about how Brianna likes formula better (we supplement as needed), or her bowels would be more regular if she were on formula all the time, or she'd sleep better, or whatever. I was even told that some infants can't take breastmilk, that it's not healthy for them. I call BS. My choice. As long as she's gaining weight, and her doctor is happy, and she's happy - we'll keep doing it. People just need to butt the hell out, seriously. Ok, so that turned into a rant. Sorry. But it was on my mind.
Going to see a nutritionist in a couple of weeks, to hopefully get a diet that helps my supply levels, energy levels, overall health - and if I could lose weight and beat Chad, that would be awesome :-) I hope this will help... I'm at my wits end trying to figure out how to lose weight and maintain a milk supply. The weight has to come off (it's not just vanity - my knees and back hurt, I'm exhausted all the time, and I need to be healthy again. Being 40+ pounds overweight isn't conducive to being healthy).
Chad's still winning the biggest loser. I lost 0.2 pounds last week. Yep, you see that right - two-tenths of a pound. Total weight loss: still less than 2 pounds. I need to catch Chad, and win, so that I can spend a ridiculous amount of money on total vanity and silliness. Maybe the nutritionist will help. Or maybe I should just fill the house with Oreos, lol.
It's hot as blazes here, in case you wondered. Like, over-100-hot before you figure in the heat index. Don't get me wrong, I hate cold... but this is unseasonably early to be this hot. It's record-breaking hot, and it's killing me. But at least I have AC in both my car and my house - we love AC. And couldn't live without it.

For more 7 quick takes posts, go to Conversion Diary.

And laid out like cash your take on my list of shortcomings

2009-06-23T09:44:00.005-06:00

This. Again, I wish I had the words to say it this well.

"I wake up each morning telling myself that today I’ll make it a better day, today I’ll do better. And then the sun rises in the sky."

I am the queen of (short-lived, sidetracked by 9am) good intentions. Every day, I decide that:

Today I will get up on time, so I have time to get everything done and eat breakfast without getting stressed or mad or being late to work.

Today I'll eat a healthy breakfast, not whatever I grab going out the door.

Today I'll pack my lunch and not spend extra money buying a most likely unhealthy lunch from the cafe.

Today I'll be a better wife/mother/friend/person in general.

Today I'll resist the urge to eat junk food.

Today I'll remember how much my husband helps me, and I won't yell at him when I'm frustrated because I have too much to do.

Today I'll call/email/facebook that person I haven't talked to in forever.

Today I'll be organized and on top of things.

And pretty much every day, I've blown most of these before I get out the door in the morning... and probably all of them before I go to bed. I whine about not having a system, and worry that I'm failing at life somehow. I often spend so much time concentrating on how I've failed... that I don't concentrate on how to get better... how to pick myself up and start over fresh (day after day, if needed).

"Daily, my good intentions fail, but His compassions for me don’t. And therein lies my hope."

Today I'll try to do better at doing better. And at not concentrating on the failures, but on the successes. And I'll keep moving forward - His compassions never fail. They are new every morning. [Lam. 3:22-23]

You just stick the right formula in / A solution for every fool

2009-06-19T10:33:00.005-06:00

Corporate America & our fine legal system are so awesome. Came across this gem this week:
It is my understanding that we agreed to include the text [...] However, it was not in the terms that the text be legible. It was under the advice of our counsel that we made the text very small and difficult to read.
You have to love it. Or something.
Being a relatively new Smart phone user, I appreciate this. I wish everyone thought that way, really. For example - it may take me a week to get to respond to a personal email. That's just the way it is. I try, but, it happens that way anyway. Sorry?
I thought this was funny. And of course, the follow up here. Just thought I'd share :-)
I love this post from One Thing. I've been thinking about it a lot this week... it sums up a lot of the way I've felt lately. Here's a quote:
But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand. [...] I want to be real. I don’t want to demand careful handling. I want those sharp edges to be worn off by that Love that isn’t afraid to be hurt. Can I stop being afraid of breaking long enough to let that happen?
I wish I could say things as clearly and concisely as she did.
I hate feeling like I suck at life. And I feel that way a lot. I hear that parenting small children has that affect on people. I feel like I'm kind of wandering through life, blundering my way along, hoping that I don't get anything too terribly wrong in the process. There has to be a better way?
I thought this was funny. Celebrity ghost twittering, indeed. And more Twitter-ness, on a slightly more serious level.
If anyone has any tips for how to stay healthy (and keep Brianna healthy!) - without just boarding ourselves up in the house and never leaving - I'm all ears. Chad, Brianna, and I have been sick, one thing and another, for like a month. I'd like to be healthy again, please?

For more 7 quick takes posts, go to Conversion Diary.

I'm finished making sense / Done pleading ignorance

2009-06-17T11:12:00.003-06:00

I had the best of intentions to post more last week. The road to hell, and all that, I suppose.

I spent Monday home/at the doctor with a sick baby again. We've had this stupid cold thing (we as in both of us) for like a month. My round of antibiotics made my ear stop hurting but didn't solve the cold (thus reinforcing the fact that it is in fact viral). Dr. put Brianna on antibiotics now, for an ear infection, and finally - finally - finally, we got some cough syrup. There's just not much you can do for sick little babies.

Tuesday she was well enough for daycare, but she's still fighting a cough, still congested, still not sleeping weel. She's just not as "sick" and lethargic and whiny as she was before. Me? I'm worn to the bone. I can't take much in the way of medicines, either, since I'm still nursing. And when Brianna's up at night - so am I. So now I'm at work, downing a billion (non-menthol) cough drops, hoping I eventually get over it.

As for the Biggest Loser contest... I did much better this week (more Zumba, less cake), and managed to lose the 3 pounds from last week, and about a pound and a half more. Which I thought was pretty awesome, til I looked at Chad's weight loss, which is something like 8 and a half pounds in two weeks. I am so gonna lose this challenge. But at least I'm headed in the right direction now?

Still searching for a "system" - I need to make better use of my time or something. Especially now that I'm working out... my time at home is so limited, and I have so much stuff to do. Thinking about trying FlyLady again, but not sure. I should just get off my behind and start doing something, though.

Anyway. That's all for me. For now.

I have no fear of drowning / It's the breathing that's taking all this work

2009-06-09T14:40:00.002-06:00

So the Biggest Loser thing.

I suck at it this week. Here's what I did:

Ate salads for lunch when I was in the office (turned out to be twice, due to sickness - both me and the baby).
Ate healthier dinners. Only had fast food ONCE.
Ate a crap-ton of veggies.
Drank a crazy amount of water.
Did 2 yoga classes and a Zumba class. Was very very sore.
Ate ONE PIECE of chocolate cake. At a party.

End result? I gained three pounds. Suck.

So this week? I'm taking the stairs, and hoping to get more workouts in. Trying to eat more healthy (and less overall, I guess?). This whole thing is complicated by the fact that I'm breastfeeding, so I can't just cut my calories in half and burn it all off... I still have to take in "enough", or my supply will tank - and I'm having enough problems right now, I'd rather not add to them.

So. Hopefully burning a few more calories will help. And maybe eating a few less. Alreay have one Zumba class under my belt... so that's something.

Talk About Tuesday

2009-06-09T09:46:00.003-06:00

Today, I talk about being an overprotective mother (or something) :-)

So we finally moved Brianna out of the cradle and into her crib... but still in our room. The cradle was ridiculously too small - I mean, really. I was afraid she would roll right over the edge and onto the floor one night... and I have no idea what the weight limit on that thing is. So it was time (and probably way past time, at that).

But I wasn't ready to move her out of our room and into the nursery yet. I'm sure it's part laziness - she gets up between two and four times a night to eat, and it's much easier to have her in the same room, and just pull her up into my bed to feed her and then put her right back down. But it's not just that... I feel like she'll be too far away in the nursery - like even with the baby monitor, I might not hear her or something. She just still seems so little to be in her own room...

So yeah, there you have it. My 4-month old is still in the master bedroom. She won't be a baby forever... I guess I'm just trying to hold onto what I can :-) Eventually, we'll move her into the nursery. Before she graduates to a toddler bed, we hope.

Head over to the Lazy Organizer for more Talk About Tuesday.

Rolled in late about an hour / No cup of coffee, no shower

2009-06-05T12:40:00.004-06:00

Brianna is now 4 months old. This is amazing to me... Where did the time go? She's happy and healthy (except a cold that we've been fighting), and learning new things every day. She's teething (yay!) and eating solid food (baby oatmeal and Gerber 1st foods veggies and fruits). Her favorite food, to date, is probably Sweet Potatoes. And just today, she moved from just using vowel noises, to using the "b" sound... so now she sounds like "bub-bub-bub-bub" - which is funny. She even does it with her paci in her mouth, which is even funnier.
Moms don't get sick days. I don't think I fully groked that concept until this past week. But we survived :-) With lots of help from Chad.
I am badly in need of a routine. And a few extra hours in the day. But if anyone has any great advice for morning or evening routines to make sure that baby and I are both fed, bathed, and get to sleep/work/daycare on time, that would be awesome. If the house could be kept clean in the process, that would be better. Maybe I'll try to FlyLady system again...
Chad and I are doing a Biggest Loser challenge. We started June 1st, and we're runnign until Oct. 1st - hopefully I'll drop this baby weight. So expect some updates here, as maybe it will keep me motivated (we put a large amount of money on the line, so you would think THAT would keep me motivated, but I can probably use all the help I can get). Hopefully, but October, I'll fit in a clothes size that only has one number. Or at least one that I can buy at Ann Taylor without ordering online.
As part of the losing weight thing, I've started working out at the Y. They have free childcare, and lots of workout classes, so it's seeming to work out ok (except it takes even more time out of my day). I've gone to two Yoga classes so far... and OOWW. I mean. I *knew* that when Brianna was born, they cut my abs apart and stapled them back together... but I didn't really think about it until I started trying to do these yoga moves, and i went to use my ab muscles... and they weren't there! I mean, they were gone! So I have a lot of work to do to get back to my pre-pregnancy hotness (pre-pre-pregnancy, I guess). Or something. Meanwhile, I'm just sore. But there's a Zumba class tomorrow, so maybe that will help (lol).
I joined Twitter. Sadly, I joined only because I found a cool app for it on my phone and I wanted to use it. But now I'm addicted. Although my tweeting waxes and wanes as I have time/interest (like my blogging!).
Chad and I are trying to convince some people to move out here. What else is new? But this time, it might work? Really, though, with our luck, everyone will come at once, and we'll be stacking friends on top of each other when they stay with us while looking for a place of their own :-) Actually... thinking about it, that would be awesome. So. Yeah. Please move here? We need more people from back home. :-)

For more 7-Quick-Takes posts, go to Conversion Diary

In lieu of real content...

2009-06-04T14:29:00.002-06:00

A meme. I have real content, in my head, but it hasn't made it into blogger yet. Blame the plague or something (Brianna and I have both been sick off and on for like, two weeks).

I am... really tired. All the time now, it seems.

I want... to magically lose all this baby weight. :-)

I have... a beautiful daughter.

I wish... that I could spend more time recording these moments with her... they're going by fast.

I know... this too shall pass.

I hate... feeling inadequate.

I fear... being a "bad" mommy (whatever that means).

I hear... Nothing. Stupid ears are plugged up, I've probably been shouting at people all day.

I crave... Starbucks.

I search... for more time in my day!

I always... worry about stupid little things.

I usually... miss the forest for the trees.

I am not... patient.

I miss... time with friends.

I love... my husband. :-)

I never... say never?

I rarely... get everything done.

I cry... way too much, it seems.

I lose... at most games :-)

I should... work on being more healthy.

I worry... about everything.

I dream... of sleep, lol.

I was... reading blogs when I found this :-) Go check out One Thing.

I'm not a princess / This ain't a fairy tale

2009-05-06T13:40:00.003-06:00

This.

Seriously. I mope a lot sometimes ("a lot sometimes"... does that even make sense?) that I don't have time / space / energy to maintain the kind of fierce oh-it's-3am-and-you-need-to-talk?-No-problem! friendships that I had in college. I mean, sure, I have friends now. A few even live in the same town, imagine that. But between the job, the commute, the baby, and the husband (who has his own job and commute) - I feel sometimes like I don't see everyone. Or anyone. Or have time to actually have any kind of meaningful relationship. Even my bible study group (which I love!) has been a little more distant this year, in part due to the fact that we're meeting on Wednesdays and have limited time, and in part due to the fact that I missed like, 2 months or something while I was still getting my feet under me after Brianna was born. So sometimes I feel a little... detached.

So yeah. nice to know I'm not the only one. And to be reminded that (while people and outside relationships are important)... I can still be "attached" to Someone, even when I don't feel it. And maybe that detached feeling... is actually a sign that I should explore exactly where my comfort and security are coming from, and make sure my priorities are in line with what they should be.

She's a good girl / Crazy 'bout Elvis

2009-04-28T10:09:00.000-06:00

So time is flying by like I would have never believed. I feel like I'm amazing busy, and yet I have accomplished pretty much nothing except for feeding, changing, and holding Brianna.

So here's the story, from the beginning:

I was scheduled to be induced starting the night of Sunday, Feb 1. Since I'd been having contractions for like, 2 weeks, I was pretty annoyed that it looked like it was coming to this. So Saturday, when I woke up with (still more) regular contractions, I decided we were going to go walk around until I went into labor :-) So Chad and I went to the mall, Circuit City, Barnes and Noble, World Market, Michael's, the framing store next to Michael's... and pretty much everywhere we could think of. When the contractions were around 3 minutes apart and had been for like, 3 hours, I finally consented to go to the hospital.

At the hospital, they monitored me for an hour, then another hour, then told me that even though I was having contractions, I wasn't *actually* in labor. And that I could go home. So I cried a lot, because I knew I had to be in labor, and I had this crazy fear of being sent home and then having the baby in the car on the way back (we don't live particularly close to the hospital). After some more crying (by me), and some arguing (by Chad), they agreed to keep me overnight in the antepartum unit for monitoring, which wasn't optimal (four women in a room, lots of light and noise), but was waaaay better than going home. But at midnight or so, there was a serious influx of pregnant women or something, so they put me in a real L&D room. By this point, I was contracting hard enough that I couldn't sleep through them, so I got them to give me some pain meds. And I slept. It was awesome.

Until around 3am. When I woke up to a pop, and a huge amount of water leaving my body. I scared the crap out of Chad, who ran to find a nurse. The nurses cleaned me up, and confirmed that yes, my water had broken, so I wasn't going home, and there was meconium, so we would need NICU standing by when I delivered (just in case). I went back to sleep (yay for the pain meds that hadn't worn off), and slept for a couple more hours.

When I woke up, I tried to sit up. This caused the rest of my water to drain (who knew I had that much in me?)... in my still slightly drugged state, I thought the water absolutely had to be draining out of my brain or something. And that I would deflate, entirely, because I had no water anywhere in my body anymore, and aren't humans like, 60% water or something? Thankfully, my slightly drugged state made this thought slightly amusing rather than panic inducing. Nurses came and cleaned me up, and I decided I was done sleeping.

I labored on, making very little progress, until about 9am when they started me on pitocin. Then I started to progress a little. By noon, I had progressed enough to get an epidural. The pain meds were long gone and I was hurting, but managing to power through it up to this point... I knew I would need an epi at some point, but intended to put it off an hour or two. But the nurse was really pushy, and made me feel stupid for not getting one right that second. So I got one. And it was pretty awesome.

At 3:20, the doctor (not my doctor, but the one on call) told me I wouldn't be able to deliver the baby, and I needed a C-Section. Since there was nothing wrong with me or the baby at this point, and I was still progressing pretty well, Chad and I refused. The doctor was pissed, but she left. And the nurse was awesome.

And I labored on. And on. And the TV didn't work, but they fixed it, but it broke again almost immediately, and I was still in labor. I got Chad to give me ice chips (that I wasn't supposed to eat, only to suck on), and I was starving but not allowed to eat food, and I was still in labor. I got to like, 9.5cm. And I was still in labor. And at this point, it felt like I as going to die. I was having contractions what felt like *all the time*, and each contraction felt like a watermelon was about to come out of my backside. I kept telling the nurses that I felt all this pressure, and they kept checking me and telling me I wasn't a 10 yet. At this point, the contractions were so intense that I couldn't see once they started. Chad kept telling me to breathe, but that was pretty difficult, too. All the panting and breathing left me parched, so Chad was trying to feed me ice chips in between contractions. At some point, they gave me oxygen. I have no clue how long this went on, but I'm pretty sure I was in this stage of labor for about 3 years. I alternated between being sure the baby would slide out any second, and thinking that I couldn't possibly do this, and I was going to die because the baby was going to split me open.

And then they said I had a fever. Which was scary - it meant I needed to have the baby pretty close to now, and yet awesome - because it meant I needed to have the baby pretty close to now. Chad made the nurses leave and asked me what I wanted to do... and I was torn. And exhausted. And still contracting, so really unable to make decisions. So in the end, he decided for me that we needed a C-section - which was exactly what needed to happen. They I had this fear that I would be hysterical and they would have to knock me out and I'd miss the whole thing - which made me hysterical. So I had to calm myself down before we could let the nurses back in.

So they stopped the pitocin. And my contractions became more bearable. Which was awesome. They got scrubs for Chad, and cleaned me up for surgery. They wheeled me in to the OR, leaving Chad outside... I impressed everyone by moving myself from the bed to the operating table (since my legs were supposed to be dead at this point)... the doctor came in, and said "I told you that you wouldn't be able to birth this baby" - which pissed me off. But I didn't say anything. Because she was about to cut me open.

The anesthesiologist was awesome, chatting me up to try and get me relaxed. He was excited that we didn't know if it was a girl or a boy, since pretty much everyone finds out. The doctor started to cut, and I started to panic because they hadn't brought Chad in yet... but they managed to get him in there before they got the baby out. When they pulled the head out, the anesthesiologist said that I had tried hard :-) (Brianna was a little cone headed right at first). I felt the doctor pull her out, which was pretty awesome, and they said "it's a girl" and I could hear her cry. Then 11 billion people gathered around her on the exam table, and I could just see her ear (which was pink and perfect. Which made me happy).

Then I was distracted by the fact that someone was rearranging my insides, and it hurt a lot. I mean, seriously. It felt like they pulled all the organs out of my body from my lungs to my intestines, and were poking all of them and then trying to squish them back in. Not pleasant. Apparently, my epi was not functioning correctly. About this time, the anesthesiologist sent a nurse running to another room for something to put in my IV, and then doctor said "I can't wait, she's bleeding!" Which sent my heart rate through the roof, and set off all the alarms, because I thought I was going to die or something. The alarms going off didn't really do anything to calm my fears, and no one would tell me or Chad what was happening. But the anesthesiologist put something in my IV, and I don't remember much after that. Chad brought Brianna to me at some point, and I remember barely being able to keep my eyes open to look at her... and reaching out to touch her cheek, but not being able to do anything else. I don't even think I got to see her face at that point... I was too out of it.

Then Chad went to the nursery with Brianna, but made it to my recovery room beofre I got there (I think). We called the nursery like, every five minutes, and eventually the nursery nurses brought Brianna to us (I think it was less than an hour, but I still had no concept of time). I finally got to see her - and she was perfect, of course. She nursed (no problems with that! yay!), and I was still kind of out of it (Chad informs me that I called her Katelyn for the first couple hours, which I don't remember). And they let me have apple juice, which was awesome after like, 36+ hours of ice chips. And jello. I had jello. And I was sure that it was the best food ever in the history of the planet.

Honestly, everything after that is even more of a blur. We got put in a postpartum room, I was stupidly tired, and couldn't sleep, Brianna nursed *every 30 minutes* until we gave up and supplemented with some formula, my parents came, and at some point I was allowed to take a shower. Chad was awesome, and took over when I couldn't get in and out of bed or do any lifting, and yelled at the nurses to make sure I got some sleep at some point.

And three months later... we're still doing ok. I'm still sleep deprived, but it's getting better. Brianna no longer eats every 30 minutes (more like every 2.5 hours), and we haven't needed to supplement with formula since we left the hospital. She's grown up a lot... She smiles, laughs, and jabbers at me all day long, and is starting to teethe - which is traumatic, all around :-) She loves to explore things, and is getting better about grabbing what she wants with her hands... it's amazing to watch her grow and learn and change every day. And I wouldn't trade her for anything :-)

3856 miles southeast of Dutch Harbor

2009-04-21T10:15:00.003-06:00

So I'm still alive. Seriously. And I have this awesome post that I've been trying to write for like, almost three months now, about how Brianna came to be - or came to be born, I suppose. But yeah. Life with a newborn and all that. It hasn't happened. So here's a short take on everything lately:

Brianna Katelyn was born 2/1/09. She is awesome, cute and smart and funny and all the things babies should be. She looks like her daddy, and has a lot of his temperament, which is very amusing at least at the moment (I see trouble on the distant horizon, but for now it's very cute).
I'm working, from home until May, then back in the office. Working at home is really hard, Brianna demands (no, seriously, demands - like with shrieks and everything) my attention most of the time she's awake, which makes working difficult. And working in the office will be hard, because I can't take her with me. So it's just difficult all around.
I'm still not quite settled in to life, I guess. I keep reminding myself that normal is just a setting on the washing machine, and that maybe this is my new normal, but I still feel like I'm on tilt or something. Maybe it'll all even out when Brianna starts sleeping through the night? Or maybe having spit-up in my hair, no sleep, and no clothes that fit is actually the new normal, and I should get over it, lol.
Being home, I've gotten addicted to a lot more TV. Which is sad, really. Because I'll have to give it up when I go back to work. Mostly shows on TLC and Style, which is probably also sad.
Being a mom has eaten my brain. Yeah. My vocabulary has been reduced to like, nothing, and I'm starting to laugh at really dumb stuff. And enjoy stupid comedies way more than I should.
We're going home next month for a graduation, and to show off Brianna to all the friends/family that we haven't met yet. Crazy stuff. And it looks like we'll be driving. Across two states. With an infant. Ha! I'm expecting our nice 12 hour drive to be something closer to 18 hours. I'm just sayin'. But - it'll be an adventure. And we have to get her used to it somehow, because flying + renting a car every time we go home is kind of silly.

That is all for now. Eventually, I'll finish the other post. Maybe.

2009-01-26T14:06:00.002-06:00

No news is just that... no news. Despite my best efforts to coax the baby into making an appearance this weekend... s/he has decided to take up permanent residence in my belly.

Or so s/he thinks. I have other plans. Which include more coaxing, and then finally submitting to induction on Monday. So there is an end in sight.

I was up for like, 2.5 hours last night with contractions, and I thought that might be it... but apparently not yet. Still having random contractions, but nothing serious or regular. Just annoying.

Had spaghetti from Mario's flying pizza for lunch today, so I'm waiting to see if that's actually the sure-fire cure that it's supposed to be, lol. If that doesn't work, I'll move on to the next food... which I guess is chinese food, or thai or something. And I'll be continuing to walk, and take trips up and down the stairs. So far, nothing's really working (as of Thursday, I was still not dilated), but I figure... none of that stuff can hurt, at any rate. And it makes me feel like I have some tiny measure of control over the process, which in reality, I have none.

There's a list of people who are going to get emails (with pictures!) when the baby comes (probably slightly before I get a chance to update here)... so if you think you might not be on the list, and would like to be, email me, and I'll add you.

It's a long wait for the turning clock

2009-01-16T13:37:00.002-06:00

You should consider any post from here on out to be potentially TMI. Especially if you object to hearing about body parts, or body functions, or medical procedures. Someday, I might return to normal, but until then... be forewarned. I have no energy left to censor my posts... sorry.
Still plodding along. Almost (not quite) at 39 weeks, and the doctor said I'm starting to progress a bit towards actually having a baby. Yay! I'm apparently starting to efface, but not dilating yet. And, although my cervix is so high that my doctor had to practically climb inside me to find it... the baby's head is apparently right there at it, ready to do whatever babies' heads are supposed to when everything is ready. So, yay for progress, and hope it continues.
I'm seriously tired, all the time, and sore. And emotional and stuff. I'm ready to be done with this, and yet the thought of bringing home an infant is terrifying. I'm tired of whining, too, but I can't seem to stop. And everyone acting like I'm late having this kid already isn't helping, let me tell ya - technically, I'm not late. Yet. Just saying.
I do have a final end date where I know for sure I will be no longer pregnant... Feb 2nd. I'll be induced starting the night of the 1st, if nothing happens before then, because at that point I will actually be (one week) late. That's also the day my parents are flying in, so that could be interesting and stuff, but I guess I'll cross that bridge if and when I come to it.
In non-baby news, I managed to make it through the CSI season premiere without crying, really, even though I almost cried right at the end. They did a good job of spacing out all the emotional stuff throughout the episode, so it worked out pretty well. Not sure still, how I feel about CSI: Morpheus, but time will tell, I suppose.
All this tiredness does have a few perks - I've been doing a lot of reading. I'm currently reading the Cheney Duvall series by Lynn & Gilbert Morris... which is good (I had read some of it previously, at some point), and I'm enjoying it (which is good, since I have two more books after this one, plus a three book sequel series)... but I'm finding my shortness of temper even extends to the characters at points... I'm like, "Geez, can't you two see you're crazy for each other? Hurry up and get together or something! I've been able to see this for the better part of 6 books now, what's your problem?" Sadly, they don't listen, or at least haven't yet.

And I want to lay my head down on you

2009-01-09T09:35:00.005-06:00

Edit (1/16): Apparently, it doesn't count if you don't hit "publish". So this has been sitting as a draft for like a week. Ha.

I'm still pregnant. Which isn't surprising, as I'm not quite 38 weeks (so depending on who you ask, I've either been full term for a few days, or I'll be full term on Sunday). But I'm about done. All my joints are swollen (had to take my watch off today... my wrists have swollen that much), and I'm super cranky, and I'm tired all the time. It's kinda annoying. So here's hoping the baby come early. I'll be trying anything (uh... anything I deem safe? I suppose) to coax the little one out in the next week or two. Not only am I seriously uncomfortable and tired of being pregnant...
I'm actually pretty scared of induction at this point. I mean, in some ways it's silly, as it happens all the time, people do it every day... but the thought of pumping chemicals into my body to induce contractions (not to mention the harder labor) seems much scarier to me than say, having my water break while I'm waddling around Wal-Mart (which is also scary). Plus, I've known 4 women who've been induced in the last 9 months - all at different hospitals - and they've all ended up with c-sections. For various reasons, mind you, not all the typical "failure to progress" that's often related to inductions. But still. Scary stuff. That being said, all the mommies and babies came through fine, so it's all good in the end... but I'm trying my hardest to avoid a c-section at this point (at least until the doctor says it's needed, anyway).
This child will not sleep through the night. I mean, we were going good for a while, but the last few nights have been kinda rough... I've been up and down all night, trying to soothe a child that I can't even really touch and coax him/her to stop throwing dance parties while I'm supposed to be sleeping. Last night was a little better, but still... this does not bode well for sleeping through the night later. At least at this point, the silence and lack of crying means that I'm the only one that's awake (in theory... Chad hasn't slept well, either, and I think it may have something to do with my restlessness).
I have had the most bizarre baby-related dreams lately (when the baby has let me sleep, that is). For instance. A couple of weeks ago, I dreamed that Angelina Jolie and I went to a spa. The kind with pink fuzzy bathrobes and everything. And we got pedicures and talked about being mommies. (Seriously. Who dreams of stuff like that?). Last night, I dreamed the baby was about the size of my cell phone, and I kept losing track of where it was - because, as it turns out, Chad kept stuffing it in the pocket of his trench coat. To replace his broken yo-yo, he said (yeah, I don't know either). Later in the dream, I tried to nurse the baby (because it had somehow morphed to normal size), but my boobs fell off. (Sorry... that might have been TMI, but in retrospect, it was pretty funny).
Work is crazy right now, as I'm trying to get a ton of stuff done before I go out on leave, which could be any day, but will probably be in like, two weeks or so. That level of uncertainty is a little unsettling for everyone, and to make it worse the girl who was supposed to take over some of my bigger day-to-day duties... is stuck in China right now, because some lawyer somewhere forgot to fax some paper to someone, and the end result is she's waiting on a visa to come back. It may well be after I leave that she gets home, and some of the tasks will be difficult for her to do so far removed from the office. So yeah, there's some amount of panic. (Not on my part, though, since I'll be gone for the worst of it. Ha!). Plus, something in the server just broke, and the sys admin is AWOL, and no one else can fix it. So there's more panic, as I'm the link between our group and the sys admin, so we're hoping she gets back to me soon.
My parents are flying in on February 2 (yet another good reason not to have the baby late...) Which will be nice, as we'll get to visit, but crazy, as I'll be dealing with a newborn and house guests and even less sleep, and I might have to remove the flash from my mother's camera so she doesn't blind the poor kid. :-) Between now and then, I have to figure out whether my dad can negotiate the stairs or if he and mom will need to sleep downstairs, if downstairs, where the mattress will fit, and how to keep the animals off of it.

News, and New Years

2009-01-02T08:53:00.003-06:00

First off, news. I'm still pregnant. For some reason, about a half dozen people have felt the need to ask me if I've had the baby yet... and the answer is no. I still have, at least in theory, 3-4 more weeks. But. I'll let you know when I do.

The baby is doing good... Christmas Eve ultrasound showed the baby weighing in at around 6 pounds 10 ounces, which puts the projected final baby weight around 8.5 pounds. Which is awesome. So no plans for an early baby due to size at this point.

I was told, long long ago when I first was pregnant (seriously, it seems like years or something), that morning sickness can return in the third trimester. And I was like, oh whatever, I guess that would suck... but since I was never really super sick in the beginning, i didn't think about it much. Until this morning. When I've been thinking about it a lot. While trying to keep down my breakfast. So far, I'm winning, but the long and short of it is I feel like crap at the moment, and trying to find a position to sit/lay in that doesn't make me want to hurl, and yet still allows me to work on my computer (I'm working from home today, so computer access is important)... is challenging. Half of my brain thinks I should eat something more, to see if it calms my stomach down, and the other half doesn't want to see what frosted miniwheats look like two hours after you eat them.

Pleasant thought, I know. Brought to you by a grumpy pregnant woman. :-) Edit: apparently, clementines are my new cure for morning sickness. Who would have guessed?

So on to New Years. My goals for this year:

Lose weight. Actually, this one is a gimmie, since I'll be shedding 8.5 pounds of baby plus associated fluids and whatnot at the end of the month. But seriously, it would be nice to be back down to my pre-baby-after-Disney-Cruise weight by the end of the year. (at current count, that would put me losing about 50 pounds, but maybe a little more, since I'll probably gain another five or so before I can start losing any).
To eat healthier, and spend less money eating out. Although I realize that this will be difficult for the next two months, anything is better than nothing. Seriously.
To take advice and criticism better, especially in regards to parenting. Just because someone else does it differently does not make me a bad mommy (even if that someone else is my mom).
Not to change my standards just because the going gets tough. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for convenience. But if I say, "I want to eat healthier, and spend less money eating out", I can't cave and run to McDonald's every night for dinner becasue I''m tired and it's easier than cooking something at home (McDonald's could help this situation by not putting crack in their chicken nuggets, so I wouldn't be so addicted to them).
To be better about taking pictures. I'll have a lot this year with documenting, and pictures will be important. :-)
To be better at blogging/journaling in some form. So I don't forget everything.

I'm sure there are more, but this'll do for now. :-)

WTF? moment of the week.

2008-12-19T13:58:00.003-06:00

This was an actual conversation I had at the pharmacy yesterday.
Pharmacist: This is an antibiotic. You need to be careful while taking it, as it will cause your birth control to be less effective.
Me: ::laughs:: I'm not worried.
Pharmacist: Seriously, antibiotics will interact with birth control.
Me: Seriously. I think I'll be ok.

I mean, this guy was looking at me (as I was standing there, much larger than life) the whole time. And did not seem to be joking. Which makes me wonder... exactly how much beer did this guy think I drank? 'Cause my belly is huge. and I wasn't trying to hide it.

It's a long wait for the turning clock

2008-12-19T10:21:00.002-06:00

Another seven quick takes (I'm totally not original ATM. sorry?). And also, (for those of you who don't like that sort of thing) sorry for the fact that it's mostly baby news - seriously, it's the all consuming thing in my life right now, so if it weren't for that I wouldn't have any blog fodder.

I am ready for Christmas. I have all my shopping done, all the gifts to my family mailed, and the last of the non-family gifts get mailed today (they will be a little late... sorry). I have everything wrapped, and expect for a couple of small stocking things, I'm not waiting on any more packages. Yay!
My boss organized a surprise baby shower for me this week, which was awesome. Now I have more baby stuff, including some stuff to decorate the nursery. Yay!
That same day, I got a huge box of baby stuff from William and Kim. Because they are awesome. Now I'm goign to spend Christmas week trying to organize this stuff, so I can find it all when I need it.
Went to the baby doctor yesterday, and it looks like the baby is already starting to drop. Which doesn't mean that it will come early, but means that things are moving in the right direction at least. We go in for an ultrasound on Christmas Eve, to get an idea of the baby's size and position. Yay! If the baby is big, we have to figure out the best course of action (induce early? c-section? tough it out?), and if the baby isn't big, I have to figure out why I've gained 50 pounds, and what I'm going to do with the extra weight when I'm no longer pregnant, lol.
I started this pregnancy with the greatest ideals... no induction unless there's a serious medical reason, no c-section except for the same, and I absolutely would not have them induce me early unless it was a life-or-death thing. Somewhere along the way, though... I got tired. And now I'm like... "OMG, big baby? Sure, induce. Tomorrow would be awesome. Unless you can do it today. Do you think cutting the kid out of me would be better?" Not that I think it will come to that... but I'm just tired. I'm tired of being tired all the time, and of not being able to tie my own shoes, or walk up a flight of stairs without huffing and puffing, or get up from a chair without doing some weird back bend thing to rearrange my center of gravity. And I want to eat a rare steak. And some sushi. But it'll be like, a seriously long time before I can do either - maybe for Christmas next year or something. Blah.
I go to Babies R Us this weekend to get the last big piece of baby furniture (I have good coupons, yay!) - this one's a dresser / changing table. And I'll put off buying everything else until after my shower at church on the 4th :-)
My family, and possibly Chad's family, will be in in early February, which will be nice (but also interesting, as they may be here at the same time, and there could be interesting family dynamics there). And yeah, I'm a little nervous about my mother's parenting style clashing with mine, and the same for my mother-in-law. Hopefully, I'll make it through the visit without being told that I'm doing it wrong (in my head, this is said lolcat style: UR DOIN IT WRONG!). We shall see.

Head over to Conversion Diary if you want to read more seven bullet updates from random people, lol.

Baby furniture, rain and other news

2008-12-10T16:01:00.003-06:00

We now have baby furniture, which is awesome. Chad's parents brought in his old stuff, and I'm very excited about it. Now there's just a few more pieces to buy.
The nursery is painted. Chad and his dad did it. And it looks really nice. And was a great thing for them to do on a rainy day. Except...
The all day rain + cold temps + wind brought out our Ike problems (that they swore were not problems). Now all our back windows leak (we have 11, seriously). Including the one in the nursery, which nicely streaked the brand new paint. So we're dealing with the insurance again, and hopefully they'll be as awesome this time around as they were last time.
I have a serious craving for Reddi-Whip and Kool-ade. Together. Which is disgusting, and I refuse to eat it. But having the two separately isn't fixing it. Maybe Jello and Reddi-Whip would be less disgusting and still satisfy me? Who knows.
There is a very very small possibility that I will see a couple of snowflakes t some point tonight. Chad is skeptical, but I'm a believer :-)
Everything (with the exception of the windows) is still going well. I'm good (except for some sinus trouble that's annoying), the baby's good, everything (besides the aforementioned windows) is good. Which is awesome.

7 Quick Takes Friday

2008-12-05T13:17:00.004-06:00

Conversion Diary is hosting a thingy called 7 quick takes on Fridays, and I'm thinking it might help me post more news (which you are all dying to hear). And it's only one more than my typical 6 point posts, so how bad can it be, right? :-)

I'm still pregnant, and I'm currently about the size of a barn. The kind you keep horses, hay, and tractors in. Seriously. But. I can still drive my car without squishing my belly (yay for having all my height in my legs!). And even though I whine a lot and complain about my back hurting and how huge I am and how annoying it is to not be able to see/reach my feet... being pregnant is awesome. It's probably the single most positive religious experience I've ever had. I have been in awe of the entire process since I found out I was pregnant. I honestly don't know how people can feel a child moving and growing inside them, and not believe in God. And I wish I wrote a little more eloquently, so that I could truly explain it... but I can't.
I have finished Christmas shopping for my family, with a few tiny exceptions, and have actually gotten a good number of things wrapped. Crazy, eh? Christmas shopping for Chad's family has, however, barely started. But it'll have to be done soon, since we have to ship everything home. Fun stuff.
I purchased and read The Tales of Beedle the Bard yesterday. It was good, and made me laugh out loud a couple of times. I learned a few interesting trivia things about Dumbledore and Hogwarts in general, but not as much as I had hoped. But still, it was enjoyable - now when will she release another?
I love reading Mommy blogs. I have a whole list of them in my reader, and I find it really interesting to see how different families operate and deal with everyday stresses and drama. And sometimes, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one.
Because people come here for baby news: my belly is measuring a week ahead this week, which either means the baby will be big, or means nothing, lol. I'll know more in two weeks, and they'll do an ultrasound after Christmas to get a better idea of size and stuff. But for now, it looks like we're still looking at the baby arriving the last week in January.
Which is good, as we really don't have much done yet in the way of nursery preparations. With only 7ish weeks to go (or 6 or 5 or 8, depending) - I'm guessing we should probably get on that. *sigh*. Honestly, I get a little stressed about it every now and then, but for the most part it hasn't hit me yet that it's happening so soon. On the other hand, I'm starting to really get uncomfortably huge, so soon is sounding better and better. :-) Worst case, Chad'll be painting over Christmas week.
PhotoShop Elements is t3h awesome. My new favorite photo editing tool. Seriously. I played with it a lot over the weekend Chad was in Seattle, and I'm looking forward to having more pictures to edit and more projects to work on, with baby stuff - but, at the same time, I realize I'll have less time to work on stuff like that. Sad, no?

For more quick takes, head over to Conversion Diary. Actually, even if you don't want to read more quick takes, you should head over there anyway. :-) Although I'm not Catholic, I find her writing to be inspiring - and it makes me look at how I relate to God and to my family.

The shadow from the starlight / is softer than a lullabye

2008-09-29T18:17:00.005-06:00

The Denver airport looks like Baked Alaska. Check it out:
16th street mall area is awesome for not having a car.
Evil super villains don't do dinner meetings. (But they will do lunch, if you ask nicely enough).
The baby doesn't particularly like flying. Which is funny to me, for some reason. But I probably won't fly much more, anyway.
No matter what they tell you, bring boots. Or hardy shoes. Or something.
Being paid to go someplace with awesome weather (at the moment), go on a field trip, visit friends, and eat cheesecake is AWESOME.

PS... ultrasound and belly pics are forthcoming - when I'm not too lazy to get them off of my camera. :-)

He can settle any sea / But it doesn't mean He will

2008-09-24T14:24:00.003-06:00

It's amazing how life can be so crazy that you can barely stand it, and are stressing about every little thing... and one more thing happens (like, say, you have to evacuate the city because you're pregnant and they locked the freakin' hospital doors)... and suddenly, for some reason, everything is ok. I mean, everything is on its head, but suddenly I'm ok with it.

So here's what happened. My dad was in the hospital, I was stressing about going home, and then my Granny broke her hip and went into the hospital. I was pretty stressed about everything, and just barely managing to hold it together. About an hour after I heard about my Granny (this was Wednesday night)... They announced the evacuation orders for my county, excluding Pearland itself. After some looking, I found out that our "voluntary" evacuation for Ike meant (among other things) that the hospitals were locking their doors. So, Chad and I decided to leave, with no great idea where we were going to go. I slept that night, drove to my office to grab my computer, and spent the rest of the day trying to help Chad get the house ready to leave. We left about 5pm, after boarding most of the windows, and packing the animals, our photos, and enough clothes to last us through Sunday.

Monitoring the traffic leaving Houston, everything to the north and west was close to gridlocked. So... we headed east down I-10. Other than two pretty serious traffic jams due to accidents (slowing us an hour each time), the traffic wasn't that bad at all. Although it was extremely difficult to find a drive through place that wasn't closed and boarded up.

We started looking for a hotel room in Baton Rouge, which was a lost cause, really. We headed north up I-55, and when we got to Jackson without finding a hotel, we gave up. Chad and I took turns driving and sleeping, and we made it into Southaven about 6am on Friday morning. Crazy stuff.

Friday, we slept a little, ate Abner's, then went to the hospital so that some people Chad's mom works with could give me an ultrasound, which was awesome. They did both 2d and 3d ultrasounds, and got some great pictures of the little one moving about, sucking its thumb, and being difficult by covering its face. It was really cool, and made the trip pretty worthwhile.

Saturday, we got up early and drive to Huntsville, and visited both my Dad and my Granny. We had a good visit, and Daddy seem to be doing a little better. He's walking without a cane, and he was really glad to see us (and the baby). That night, we headed back to Southaven, intending to leave for home in the morning. But once we arrive in Southaven, we discovered that we could not go home. I-10 was blocked in places, and the authorities told us to stay where we were. We knew Pearland was hit kind of hard (friends lost a great deal of their roof), but that our house was at least intact, and not leaking through the roof.

So we sat back and tried to enjoy the "vacation". Each day, we made plans to come home the next day... but between the roads and the authorities, we didn't get to come home until Thursday. I ended up working remotely some, to keep from getting to far behind, but JSC was closed the entire week.

When we got home, we saw first hand how our house fared... we lost our fence (half the neighborhood did as well), and our shed (with the grill and everything in it), and (we discovered later) a little water got in around the windows on the back of the house. This may mean replacing all the windows and the back door, and replacing all or part of the drywall/insulation in the bedroom (and maybe part of the carpet). But overall, we didn't fare too bad. We have power, water, and gas, so we're all good. We even have groceries at the store, finally.

Traffic, however, sucks. My 45 minute commute has morphed into a 2 hour commute. But since that's my biggest complaint, besides finding contractors to fix the house, I can totally survive.

And I'm far less stressed about everything else, and more centered, which makes entirely no logical sense. But I'm enjoying it, while it lasts. :-)

Sometimes He calms the storm
With a whispered peace be still
He can settle any sea
But it doesn't mean He will
Sometimes He holds us close
And lets the wind and waves go wild
Sometimes He calms the storm
And other times He calms His child
~Sometimes He Calms the Storm, Scott Krippayne

I can't find the words to pray / I'm a little down today

2008-09-08T09:37:00.005-06:00

So I've been really quiet, which is typical - and yet not typical. There has been a lot going on, but long story short, I haven't had to words to explain anything, or the emotional capacity to think through everything enough to find the words. But I'm working on it now, so this will probably be a long long post... it's been a long time coming.

So. Being pregnant. It hasn't been that bad, although I've whined a lot about it to anyone who's gotten too close to me (mostly Chad, though, as I've kind of withdrawn a bit from the rest of the world). Everything is progressing well, the baby is growing great, and the doctor seems happy with all my tests for now. The two biggest problems have been my tiredness... I'm super tired all the time, and can't seem to get enough sleep no matter what. And my emotions. Which is part of why I've withdrawn a bit... when spilling french fries or breaking a nail makes me cry, I have little reserves left to deal with people. And their problems. Or even my own problems.

My dad had a stroke about a month ago. It took the doctors like, three days to figure it out, so by the time they got around to "fixing" it, it was pretty bad. He was in the hospital for more than a week, then went home with no feeling in his right hand, trouble walking, an inability to read at all, some mild confusion, and vision loss on his right side. And a pretty serious case of depression. After a couple of weeks at home, and starting physical therapy, and improving a little... he had another stroke. This one has left him much more confused... I've talked to him a half dozen times in the last week, and every time he asks me at least twice when the baby is due. He's not always sure why he's in the hospital, or even where he is. They moved him from the regular hospital (where he's been for a week) to the rehab hospital late last week, and they're working him pretty hard there. It doesn't look like he'll be going back to work. Mom's holding up pretty well, but she's really starting to wear thin. She's trying to decide whether to switch jobs to make a little more money and keep better insurance, or to keep her current job (which she's only marginally happy with). Since she's the sole breadwinner for the time being, at least, she feels like she's under a lot of pressure.

This has caused me a great amount of stress aver the last month, as I'm not exactly in a position to drop everything and run to Huntsville to help out, and not in an emotional state to really be much help even if I went. Practically speaking, I have 6 days of vacation left for the year. To match Chad's time off at Christmas, even though we aren't traveling, I'll need five of those. That leaves one lonely vacation day. Chad and I have talked about going home over a weekend... driving in to Huntsville on Friday, picking up a U-Haul trailer to hold stuff we need to bring back, and coming back through Memphis - arriving home Monday, having spent about 24 hours with each set of parents, and about 30 hours on the road. This, you might have noticed, takes two vacation days, which puts me short at Christmas, which I think at this point is inevitable. Add to this the complication that there's a wedding in Huntsville in early November that I'm kind of expected to attend (except it's not really a wedding, I suppose, but that's another story). Plus, the longer we wait, the more uncomfortable I'll be traveling. And thus the more whining Chad will have to endure on the drive.

So the long and short of this becomes... when do I go home? Later, to meet family obligations to attend a wedding, and when my dad might be a little better (if he doesn't get worse)? Or earlier, when I can (possibly) be more help, and will be more comfortable, but will miss the other family events?

Blah. To complicate this even more, I'm not sure my folks will be here for Thanksgiving, as I'm not sure they'll have the money to travel, or that Dad will be well enough to travel. And since I can't go home at all in December or January, that was supposed to be Christmas for us. And I don't know if my mom will be able to come out for as long as she was planning to in February to help with/see the baby. And Chad's parents haven't made any plans to come visit us before the end of the year, or after the baby comes (they will, I'm sure, but no plans yet). So me going home is my big chance to visit, until I'm able to travel with the baby, which will be like, the middle or end of March, at best.

So yeah, words have failed me lately. Life, it seems, goes on day by day, regardless of everything else. And day to day, life isn't all that bad. It when you lump all the days together that it starts to get overwhelming, I guess.

My beloved monster and me...

2008-07-30T20:20:00.004-06:00

Consider this an annoucement (although at this point, I think everyone who reads this knows). That's me, exactly 14 weeks pregant (last Sunday). I'll post a link to my "baby blog" when I feel like making it public. We're very excited :-)

Now all the demons look like prophets and I'm living out / Every word they speak...

2008-07-07T14:31:00.003-06:00

It's funny how the smallest thing someone says can really get to you. In good ways, as well as bad (although more often the former, I guess).

For instance. The other day, I got a voice mail message from someone... not a personal voice mail from someone who directly called my phone, but a voice mail that was sent out to a somewhat large group of people. The message, for the most part, didn't even pertain to me. But at the end of the message, there were four words that made me feel really really good (which is completely nonsensical, based on the distribution of the message, etc). "I'm thankful for you". A very small thing... but it really made my day. For the rest of the day, when I got tired or was having a rough time, I thought back to the message... and the fact that someone was thankful for me. Not for my work, or my skills, or what I had done... for ME. And that, for whatever reason, means something to me.

Six things I'll never get tired of hearing:

I love you

I'm so glad you came

I appreciate you

I miss you

I'm praying for you/thinking about you

I'm thankful for you

Seriously... it's all the little things that keep me from drowning in the vast chaos of life. Without them, I would truly be lost.

WALL-E

2008-06-30T14:30:00.002-06:00

Went to see WALL-E on Friday... it was great! A really fun, silly, sweet movie, that definitely showed off advances in both Disney's storytelling ability and Pixar's great ideas and animation.

And the short before the movie was really funny. Like, crying-because-you're-laughing-so-hard funny.

Out of the shaker and onto the plate / it isn't karma it sure ain't fate

2008-06-24T13:22:00.003-06:00

So I've been eating the same brand of string cheese for something like 8 months now. And I just (as in, about 30 seconds ago) realized that there is a joke on each wrapper. Ha!

I saw a tornado on Saturday. A funnel cloud, I suppose, since it apparently didn't touch ground. But it was pretty cool, since I'd never really seen one before.

Things are kind of slow here (although I'm still not managing to get much of anything accomplished), which is a nice change of pace from the April/May rush of travel and stuff. We're not traveling again until we go back to Memphis and Huntsville for a couple of days each next month.

I read your book / And I find it strange

2008-06-18T15:26:00.003-06:00

So I'm (finally, I suppose) listening to The DaVinci Code as an audio book. And i have this weird love-hate relationship with it. On one hand, it talks a lot (so far anyway) about Fibonacci numbers, which is interesting. And Phi. Also interesting. But on the other hand... I'm more than 20 chapters in, and I feel like most of the book so far has taken place inside the heads of each of the individual characters. Like, one character says something, which reminds the other character of a time when she was 10 and living with her grandfather, so she proceeds to think through the entire incident (5 or 10 minutes of the audio book), then resume conversation with the first character as through no time has passed (which, I'm guessing, it hasn't). This would be ok, if it didn't happen at least twice in every single conversation.

I guess the author is trying to make sure that we have all the necessary background information. It just seems a little forced or something.

Anyway. I will probably finish the book, just to see how it ends. I'm not sure how I think it should end, because I'm really not sure where it's going from here. But, as long as the author keeps throwing in semi-interesting logic puzzles, I'll probably stay at least interested enough to finish it out.

2008-06-09T12:54:00.002-06:00

So, being 80 million miles away from home, I miss out on some of the good family drama. And some of the bad family drama, actually. Come to think of it, it probably evens out.

We'll all stay skinny cause we just won't eat

2008-06-03T08:05:00.000-06:00

So I bought a box of Kashi chewy granola bars... they have more fiber, and more protein, and less sugar than the granola things I have been eating, and are full of whole grains and stuff instead of unpronounceable preservatives.

The problem? They taste like bird seed. Which isn't as bad as it could be, I suppose. It's better than cardboard. But not exactly what I'm craving when I reach for a granola bar.

I need some healthy type food that doesn't make me feel like a bird.

Quote of the day:

2008-06-03T07:22:00.001-06:00

"[Sex And The City] is so definitely not my cup of tea that, for me, it is not tea at all, and does not come in a cup."
~Roger Ebert

Meme

2008-06-02T10:47:00.004-06:00

In the interest of posting new content, here's a meme (since I have no real content to post at the moment):

1. Father's name ? Bob

2. Mother's name ? Kathi

3. Favorite drink? Sweet tea

4. Tattoo? no

5. Body Piercing: ears only

6. How much do you love your job? generally, it's awesome. Some days, I want to pitch my computer through the window.

7. Birthplace? Orlando, FL

8. Favorite vacation spot: Disney Cruise

9. Ever been to Africa ? Nope

10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? yes

11. Ever been on TV? Yes. I was on the news when I was a kid. My mom made me carry a sandwich-board type sign at a protest rally when Mrs. Ducacus came to campaign for her husband in Florida. Classy, no? My parents might still have that tape.

12. Ever steal any traffic sign? No.

13. Ever been in a car accident? a couple.

14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? 4 door

15. Favorite salad dressing? Ranch

16. Favorite pie? cheesecake

17. Favorite number? 6. Which probably makes me the devil.

18. Favorite movie? At the moment? Probably Jakob the Liar.

19. Favorite holiday? Christmas

20. Favorite dessert? anything sweet, really.

21. Favorite food? Pasta.

22. Favorite day of the week? Sunday

23. Favorite brand of body wash? Right now it's Sexy Peel soap from Lush

24. Favorite toothpaste? Aquafresh

25. Favorite smell? Lavender

26. What do you do to relax? Veg on the couch. Sometimes try to be creative. But mostly just stare at the TV.

28. How do you see yourself in 10 years? Ten years is a long time. Trying to picture myself in 10 years is difficult, seeing as I haven't even planned whats for dinner tonight. Ha! Ok, so seriously, I imagine we'll still be in Houston. In the same house. Workign more or less the same jobs (why mess with a good thing?) I'll be slightly fatter, and probably still trying to make people believe that I'm 29. And I might finally not look like I'm 12 anymore. :-)

29. Furthest place you will send this message? well... Since I'm not sending it, but rahter blogging it, I suppose it has the potential to go anywhere.

30. Who will respond to this the fastest? eh. No clue.

No one to tell us no / or where to go

2008-05-27T11:44:00.002-06:00

Back from vacation. And it was awesome.

The cruise was the best part. We went Jet-skiing, hung out on Disney's private island, and saw a little of Nassau. We ate great food, saw great shows, and generally enjoyed that whole thing.

We also enjoyed that land part of the vacation, although it was much more tiring (all four parks! Yikes!). The Disney resort was pretty cool... we stayed in Port Orleans - French Quarter.

Now I'm back and work, and super tired. But. This week is a short week (yay!) and even shorter for me, since I'm taking Friday off to go to a wedding (double yay!).

I have to wait until August?

2008-05-16T06:34:00.002-06:00

Did anyone see CSI last night? omg. I was totally not expecting that. Until about 15 seconds before it happened. I mean, I knew going into it that something would happen. But I didn't expect that. For the record, I've always hated that guy, ever since he played a child molester on Without A Trace. I couldn't believe they made him a recurring character on CSI. I wonder now, did they plan this? Or did the writers one day say, Oh look, we can really screw with the story if we do this?

And there won't be any resolution to any of this until the new season. I mean, I know what happened. But I'd like to know what happens after that.

Sorry this is so incoherent. I'd like to say more, but can't say more without spoilers. *sigh*

Trying hard to look so pristine / Like a face in a magazine

2008-05-15T11:43:00.004-06:00

My seester is in town. Yay!

I have this problem. See, I like Houston. I mean, I don't like the traffic, or the stupid-head drivers, or the fact that only like, five restruants have sweet tea, or the fact that I'm like, 11 hours from family. But I don't really mind Houston, all in all.

My hair, on the other hand, hates Houston. With a fiery passion. Take for example, this week. Tuesday, I got my hair cut. Awesome haircut, looked great when I left the salon. Went to dinner, hair looked great. Next morning, I shower and - in an attempt to recapture the look I had leaving the salon - I blow dry and flat iron my hair. With product. That is supposed to deal well with humidity. I get it looking mostly ok (still not as good as the salon, but workable). Then I step outside. I could literally fell my hair swelling. Seriously. By the time I got to work, I looked like a country singer. From the 80's. Every time I caught my reflection, I thought of River Tan's reaction when she saw Shepherd Book with his hair undone. I'm not sure whether to laugh, or be afraid that my head will implode form the weight of the hair.

Today hasn't been much better. Maybe my hair is dry or something? Or maybe I'm not using enough product (I'm using Paul Mitchell something that's supposed to combat the frizzies)? No idea.

Take some time, mellow out / Party up, but don't fall down

2008-05-12T10:05:00.004-06:00

Yay! Fun stuff is happening! and more is about to happen!

Went to a graduation party this weekend for Dr. Sarah Nagel. Who's dad is now the Faculty Senate President at State. So we spent a lot of time catching up on the real story of what's going on at State (not the nice, clean, daffodil-drama-free story that I get in the alumni newsletters). Fun times! And best of all, Sarah might not be moving far away from us (yet, at least)! While we were there, my mom called to tell me that...
My sister is coming to visit me this week! She's flying in Wednesday, and flying out on Sunday, which is the same day we leave for our...
Disney Vacation! Cruise and theme parks! As grown-ups! Yay! and a couple of days after we get back, we get to leave again because...
William is getting married! So we get to travel to The Coast and see old friends and stuff. I love visiting old friends, so we're doing it again in late June or early July when...
We meet Richie and Angela in Orlando to go to Universal for a couple of days. But, it gets better than that. They just got engaged, so...
We'll be traveling to Seattle for their Wedding in November!

So much travel! It's crazy! But yeah, it should be fun. Sometime in all of this, we might have to think about going home to visit our parents...

Things that I would never think of in a million years

2008-05-08T15:19:00.002-06:00

I would never, ever, be walking along on day and suddenly realize that it might be possible to use a human head as a bong. Who thinks of this stuff? Regardless of who thinks it up in the first place, exactly what kind of person would think that it was such a good idea that they would then go to a cemetery and dig up a casket to procure the aforementioned head? I mean, really.

This is officially the oddest thing I've read in a while. And I read some pretty weird stuff.

So quickly will I drown / in all the pools of all my reason

2008-05-06T14:22:00.004-06:00

I am totally the queen of burning bridges. I'm just saying.

Sometimes I know that I'm burning them. I say to myself, "Self, if you do this thing, you will probably forever change this relationship. Are you sure you want to do it?" This isn't always a bad thing. For example, I burned a lot of bridges when I got married. But since I hopefully won't be traveling those same paths... the burned bridges are more or less irrelevant.

Sometimes, though, I have no clue what I'm doing. I blunder blindly through, assuming that I should actually speak my mind for a change. And then, when I've spoken my mind and I'm watching the last of the smoldering embers go out, I say to myself, "Self, WTF? How did this happen? You are totally never allowed to speak your mind again!" Which of course, never actually works. The reason it never works is that one time out of a hundred, speaking my mind actually makes things better. Or makes someone's day better. Or, at least, makes me feel better. And, always the eternal optimist, I forget the other ninety-nine times that I screwed up and cling to the one time I made a difference.

I wonder if my Karma balances out?

I feel like a million miles away / And I don't know what to say

2008-04-24T12:54:00.003-06:00

I've been kind of anti-social lately. Not sure exactly why (although being pretty busy has kind of helped it along). Also not sure if I'm really over it. For what it's worth.

Maybe I'm just tired of reaching out. I feel like, all too often lately, I reach out to people only to have them walk off, leaving me standing there with my arm sticking out like an idiot. I guess that's preferable to having them cut my arm off. But, metaphorically speaking, my arms are tired. I'm not sure what the solution to this is, but I'm pretty sure that it isn't to board myself up in my house and become a hermit (and yet that's more or less what I'm doing).

Anyway. If you haven't seen me, that may be why.

In other news... I've been watching Deadliest Catch this season. I don't know why I like that show so much, but I do... it's pretty funny. The dynamics between the guys on each boat are interesting, too. Lots of families. Family dynamics are always interesting.

Summer has hit Houston, humidity and all. Everywhere, that is, except my office. As in, not the building I work in, by my particular room. Where it's like, 50 degrees. and about 72 in the hallway. I'm waiting for little tornadoes to form in my doorway, seriously.

You were handsome / You were pretty / Queen of New York City

2008-04-15T11:45:00.003-06:00

So Chad and I spent Thursday through Sunday in New York City. I had a class to take for Work (Friday and Saturday), so Chad decided to come with me and see the city. We had a great time! And did a great deal of the touristy stuff available in Manhattan. Our hotel was at Lexington and 48th, which made everything really convenient (We were about five blocks form Grand Central Station).

We saw a play on Broadway - Macbeth, starring Patrick Stewart. Fan. Freaking. Tastic. Seriously. (Chad also saw Phantom of the Opera, while I was in class).
We saw Rockefeller Center, Times Square, Radio City Music Hall, 5th Ave, and Central Park.
While on 5th Ave, we went to FAO Schwartz, which is only the most awesomest toy store eVar. Toys-R-Us at Times square is a close second.
We ate New York style pizza, deli sammiches, and food form a pub, but skipped the hot dogs from the hot dog vendors (when we were ready to eat, we almost always wanted to sit down).
We road the subway from grand central station to the downtown area, saw the Statue of liberty (this took two tries, as it was foggy the first time), the World Trade Center (it's a big hole in the city, you can't miss it), and the American Stock Exchange.
We took the subway uptown a bit, and went to the Met. We only spent two hours or so there, but it was awesome. I could have easily spent weeks there. Easily.

All in all, the trip was a success. And we arrived home safely. Yay!

In other news, Music Choice on demand has a special this month: Snoop Dogg: Does Starkville. Seriously. I had to watch it, just because Starkville is NEVER the subject of this kind of thing. It's only six minutes long, an it manages to make Starkville look like a hell hole, full of poor people and run down houses, and two drunk frat boys. *sigh* I'm not sure what I was expecting. But that wasn't it.

Maybe I push when I meant to be still / Maybe I take it all too personal

2008-04-07T15:26:00.002-06:00

In general, I over-analyze things. By "things" here, I mean everything: conversations, emails, body language, the importance of what is for dinner, etc. I have this sometimes crippling fear that someone, somewhere, will be mad at me for something. That they (whoever they are), in fact, might be mad at me right at this very moment. So I spend a great deal more time than I should trying to figure out who (if anyone) is mad at me, and what I did to cause this, and how I can make it better.

Amazingly often, I talk myself into believing that someone is mad at me (even when they aren't), and I get all stressed out about it, and (when I've exhausted my other options for trying to make this better without actually communicating the fact that I think they are mad at me) I resort to some more adult method of dealing with my problems: I avoid said people in person while saying vague, snarky, passive-aggressive things about them on my blog. Then, if (by chance) I find out that they were not, in fact, mad at me in the first place, I feel guilty.

Occasionally, though, I don't realize that people are mad at me until long after the fact, when whatever it was that made them mad in the first place is now so huge that it causes them to avoid me entirely. Then I feel guilty for having missed whatever secret sign that I was looking for in all my over-analyzing. All the while, telling everyone else that it doesn't really bother me.

The moral of the story? I should stop over-analyzing and get over myself :-) Generally, I don't get it right, and even if I do I can't really change anything. People who value relationships generally will let you know when you've seriously upset them (you know, before they can't stand being around you any more).

That being said, I really enjoyed church yesterday. It was the first time I'd really felt home there... I don't know how to describe it. It was nice to have people stop to talk to me and know my name. Joining a women's small group wasn't what I expected, but I'm glad I've stuck with it... it has certainly helped with feeling like I'm a part of something, and is encouraging me to reach out into other small groups.

My mission for the year: don't over-analyze interactions with people at church. They aren't all mad at me.

I want to be meeker / but have you seen this old Earth?

2008-03-28T13:17:00.002-06:00

I'm tired. At least it is Friday :)

I miss old-school music (old school, for me, means mid/late 90's christian rock). Pandora is awesome for being able to listen to said old-school music. Unfortunately, I can't get Pandora in my car :-(

I bought some CDs at Half-Price books, though. So I can still have some amount of Old School, in the car. And if I got it together, and figured out how to make play lists work on my nano such that I could easily swap music on and off of it... I could listen to that in the car.

Long story short, I'm whining, there's an obvious solution to my problems, and I'm just to lazy to deal with it. That's like, the story of my life.

I guess that I was hoping / that you'd finally understand

2008-03-27T11:07:00.002-06:00

The six month curse has stuck again. And interestingly enough, it wasn't me.

In other news, we're trying to tie down our cruise plans for the summer... so if you're interested in cruising, let us know kinda soon. We're looking at going the second week of May. And possibly leaving from Galveston.

This weekend I may try to catch either the CSI exhibit at the Museum of Natural Science, or the Pompeii exhibit at the Museum of Fine Arts. I feel the need to go experience some culture of some kind. If the museums don't work out, maybe I'll talk Chad into going to the movies with me or something.

Hey girl it's me I just called to tell you hi

2008-03-26T08:44:00.003-06:00

We have 9 teachers that teach regularly. There are 9 levels of hell. We're in the river Phlegethon at the moment.
~Mandie, about one of her classes

Um... when did my siblings get old enough (educated enough?) to randomly (yet meaningfully) throw obscure culture references into conversation? It's funny. Yet I feel old. *sigh*

For what it's worth / It was worth all the while

2008-03-20T12:41:00.002-06:00

So we drove to Denver this past weekend, which was awesome (which is to say, being in Denver and visiting people was awesome, having a captive audience in the car for 36+ hours was awesome, the driving itself was not so awesome). I got to see all kinds of interesting things for the first time on the trip though:

Oklahoma, Kansas, and Colorado. Ha!
Giant windmill things (in Kansas)
Tumbleweed
Prairie dogs
Oil wells (the kind that look like those bird-looking perpetual motion things... not sure how to describe it)
The Rockies

I also learned some things on the trip:

Kansas is the birthplace of Annie Oakley, Buffalo Bill, and William Chrysler.
The first patented helicopter was in Kansas.
In spite of all this, Kansas is lame.
Apparently, real trees don't really grow where there's no water, so you get stuck with these little weedy trees... which are funny. But not really trees.
Those windmill things are bigger than I could have imagined.
Traveling to Denver while trying to get over a sinus infection will make your ears hurt. But they won't actually explode. Which is good.

We got to visit Krys, Manda, and their boys, play Shanghai (though not the last couple of rounds), eat pancakes and sushi (not at the same time), tour Boulder, appreciate the awesomeness of friends who have known you forever and don't manufacture their own drama, run around Pearl St. mall, and Manda introduced me to a store that sells happy-hippie eco-friendly natural soaps and shampoos and stuff. And they are opening one in Houston. Yay! I might have to buy stock in them or something, seriously.

All in all, the trip was a success. I would definitely do it again, with less car this time, and more airplane.

Right and left it's all the same conspiracy / just cause you ask, doesn't make a difference to me

2008-03-05T15:11:00.002-06:00

Did my civic duty and voted yesterday. Not that it really mattered much... I always was one to go for the under dog :-) I had an unrelated excuse to work from home, so I was able to go to the polls at an off-peak time, and mostly avoid the lines. This also meant that I was the only person in my party at the polls who was under, like, 100 years old. (This probably holds true for the other party, as well, but I didn't sneak over to their side of the building to look)

I went to the first meeting of that Tuesday night women's bible study last night... it looks like it's going to be a good group, but (as of last night) there isn't really anyone my age. And I'm the only one without kids. But everyone seemed happy to have me there anyway. Interestingly enough, there was a woman there who had recently moved from Starkville. So we sat and talked about places we ate and shopped in Starkville, and where exactly we lived.

Somehow, the year has gotten away from me. I was pretty sure it was still the middle of January, and then people started asking me what I want for my birthday, and reminding us to nail down our summer travel plans (since we're looking at traveling in May)... How did it get to be March already?

The sky starts to crash the rain on the roof starts to drumming

2008-03-03T13:32:00.001-06:00

I managed to take an hour for lunch again today… I went to Target, and bought Propel and paper towels. Which is entirely uninteresting, but saves me a stop on the way home.

Chad and I bought two apple trees this weekend. One for the front yard, and one for the back. We managed to plant the one in the front, but planned to do the one in the back yard tonight. Unfortunately, no one told the weatherman this, and now we're under a thunderstorm warning. So it'll have to be Wednesday, as I think we're both busy tomorrow night. And tonight, maybe I'll read or something… or at least pick out a book to bring to work tomorrow. I'm currently in the middle of several (which is typical), so I need to decide which one I want to finish next. Slowly but surely, I’m working through my "to read" list.

The best thing you've ever done for me / Is to help me take my life less seriously

2008-02-29T14:09:00.003-06:00

I actually took a lunch today. As in, I packed my lunch and took it to work (this in and of itself isn't unusual these days), and then (and this is the amazing part) I stopped what I was doing for an hour and took a lunch break.

I did it yesterday too.

The sad thing is, neither of those two breaks were actually used for eating... I still ate over my computer, while working (or attempting to, at any rate). Yesterday, I took the break to run down to Half Price Books and look around, specifically for a little journal-type book to use for the bible study thing -- I found one that will work great, I think, and in addition to that I found another journal that has graph paper instead of lined paper. Who thought of that? And why didn't they call me when they did? I bought it, with no specific purpose at the moment. I just miss writing on graph paper -- and today's break was spent reading (with my office mate out of the office, I could shut the door and enjoy some quiet for an hour, reading the Time Traveler's Wife. Except it wasn't really quiet, as I share an office wall with someone who projects very loudly into the phone, mostly about finance, and am around the corner from someone else who also projects into the phone (and at people in person), mostly about travel arrangements).

I might continue to take real lunch breaks. Until such time as I have too much work to do to really enjoy them (which will be, you know, right before the next big deadline). Not sure about the reading thing though... might have to take it outside, at the very least. Not just to escape the loud phone people, either. I forgot that 9/10 of my reading time is in bed, right before (and sometimes slightly after) bedtime, so when I finished my hour and stood up to open the door, I thought I was going to fall over. I didn't, but I'm still not sure if the lightheadedness had to do with the reading, being stationary for too long, or was just a fluke.

Actually, this week has been really easy, work-wise. Which is a nice change after last week, where I was rushing to get everything ready for user testing and trying not to die in the process (In the end, everything was ready, and I'm not dead yet). I attended a conference for two days, and spent some time tying up a few loose ends that slipped through the cracks last week. Since then, I've actually been inventing work to do, as I was so busy last week I forgot to ask for extra work to do this week :-P

There's a lot in my head, and very little of it particularly blog-worthy.

And in the air the fireflies / Our only light in paradise

2008-02-28T14:54:00.002-06:00

I ate Brussels sprouts for the first time in literally years last night. They were awesome, just like I remembered only better. Thank you, Bird’s Eye, for inventing single serving frozen veggies that cook in the bag in like, a minute. Actually, frozen veggies in general are pretty awesome. Tastes almost as good as fresh, and I don’t have to worry about them going bad in the crisper while I get around to eating them.

I joined a Curves studio down the road from my house… I’m now working out 3+ times a week. So far, it has been pretty good. On the off days I‘m trying to do something aerobic, but that’s been kind of hit-and-miss the last two weeks. At least I’m doing something. (That’s what I keep telling myself).

This week, I picked back up Kingdom Hearts II, noting that there will be a sequel coming out at some point that will actually fit in the timeline right before the game I’m playing. I figure I should actually beat this one before the sequel comes out, so I can justify buying it. I managed to get to Johnny Depp world (Pirates of the Caribbean), but I haven’t beaten it yet. Almost 12 hours into the game, and I still had to have Chad explain to me what was going on in the plot (to be fair, he had to look it up online to figure it out).

I’m joining a women’s bible study starting next week… should be interesting, and will give me a chance to interact with some more people who might or might not be my age (the jury’s still out on the age thing). The woman who’s running the study has been married for something like 15 or 20 years, so I would guess she’s quite a bit older than I am, but younger than my mother. I’m hoping there’s a good mix of ages in this group (that always makes it more interesting), but that I’m not the only young married chick without kids (it’s less lonely that way).

I’ve been thinking for a while that I really miss State. I came to the conclusion the other day, while talking to a friend, that I probably do miss State somewhat… but what I really miss isn’t Abner’s, SEC football, the Union, or the Drill Field, but feeling like I really belonged someplace. Like I was supposed to be there, and like I was part of a community. When we moved to Texas, I kind of retreated into my own world, mostly because I didn’t feel there was a good community to be a part of. And I’ve missed that feeling… so I’m trying to reach out of my now tiny comfort zone, and find a community. It was easy at school… we were all basically the same age, and dealing with basically the same set of experiences. In the real world it’s hard. But not, I think, unattainable. And probably worth the extra effort.

Bombarded by philosophies that satisfy the surface / I flee to something deeper

2008-02-25T19:50:00.004-06:00

For the record, I believe in the right of every human to decide what they do or don't believe on just about any issue, and to hod lthat belive without ridicule or persecution. I will, in fact, defend that right even for people who's views are opposed to mine.

That being said, I know I hold some rather particular views. Several people, over the last few months, have asked me what I believe. Since that is a huge topic, which would probably take years to exhaust fully, I'll just list a few things that I've been questioned on lately. I'm disabling comments for this post, as I'm not interested in starting a war on my blog.

I believe in an eternal, omnipotent, omnicient, omnipresent God. I believe that God is love, but He is also a God of justice. I believe in the deity of Christ, and that he was born, lived, died, and rose again. I believe that God can still exist in a world that doesn't believe in Him, and that sometimes He allows bad things to happen to good people for His own reasons that we don't understand. And we don't have to understand. I believe that there's something after this life, some greater existance that we are moving towards. And I belive that, in my own small way, I can make a difference in this world while I'm here. And that, dear readers, is literally what keeps me alive. If I honestly thought that this life was it, that when I die I will cease to be, cease to exist, be nothing but dust and ashes... I would have seriously killed myself a long time ago.

I believe in Intelligent Design. To be more specific, I belive in a literal six-day creation. Why does an educated modern woman believe in biblical creation? Because I can. Because I choose to. Because you can't prove me wrong. I know science dates things as being millions of years old. That's fine. Had you scientifically examined Adam the day after he was created, he probably would have looked to be about 20 or 30 years old. Not 1 day old. The underlying difference between me and someone who belives in some form of evolution is that I use a different set of underlying assumptions than they do. That doesn't make my view any less valid than anyone else's, or make me stupid or weak for having faith in something bigger than myself.

I am pro-life, more ardently than you can probably imagine. That being said, I don't advocate picketing clinics, or bombing anything, or killing abortion doctors. I don't come by my views lightly either. My reasons for this are mostly personal, and I don't really care to explain them in detail here. Suffice it to say, I belive that life beings at conception, and that a child's right to live is greater than a woman's right to choose. And, being a woman, I like to think I have more right to say that than most of the old, male politicians you find espousing that view.

That concludes, for now, my rant. I might follow it up with more later, at some point, if I am in a ranting mood.

Quotes

2008-02-12T13:01:00.000-06:00

Quotes I came across:
And then the day came, when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin, Danish diarist

There is no difference between living and learning...it is impossible and misleading and harmful to think of them as being separate.
~ John Holt, author

Throw me somethin' mister / I wanna dance with your sister

2008-02-04T15:39:00.001-06:00

We went to Mardi Gras Galveston this past Saturday... it was fun, and crazy, and everything I suppose Mardi Gras is supposed to be (except, you know, it wasn't in New Orleans). And now I want to go dancing, so that may be the plan for this weekend (we'll see).

I spent most of Sunday recovering from Saturday (and the weird feeling-tired-and-blah sickness thing I've been fighting for like, two weeks now). It was raining, so I couldn't finish the yard work (which was more than ok with me)... but I did get some house work done (go me!).

I bought a new calendar this week... the squares on my old (free) one were so tiny I was having trouble recording all the things I wanted to keep track of. I ordered this specific calendar because everyone said the squares were big enough for anything. So yeah, it came in the mail this week, and I opened it up to put it on the fridge on Sunday. Oh. My. Goodness. This is like, the calendar of huge squares +10. It is so freakin' big, I couldn't hang it on the freezer door (it's too skinny), so I had to move everything from the fridge side to the freezer side and put this one on the fridge side. I was able to write meals for the week (instead of trying not to lose my little meal plan lists), and still have room for everything I need. And more. nd I don't have to write tiny (or smaller than usual, anyway).

I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen

2008-01-30T16:04:00.000-06:00

There are some days when I'm so freakin' awesome that I can hardly believe it. I just managed to make the impossible graphics library that I've been fighting with integrating into my prototype for a couple of weeks work, not only from my machine, but from Java Webstart (so anyone can run it). I finally determined that the problem was including the .dll files in the download... and figured out how to do it.

Now I'm happy. Because this means I'll have something that is actually testable to send overseas at the end of next month for user testing. Unless I run into more problems between now and then.

This is why I love coding... the buzz you get from solving a problem in a innovative way, and seeing it work (after hours and hours and days and days of seeing it not work).

Every mountian, every valley

2008-01-28T09:36:00.000-06:00

I feel like this. A lot.

You treat life like a picture / But its not a moment frozen in time

2008-01-24T12:47:00.000-06:00

So there’s been a lot going on in my head lately, most of which doesn’t translate well into language, much less blog-world. Just a lot of rambling stuff, I suppose, about growing up, friends, family, and life in general. And I’ll throw some religion and politics in there, just to spice it up a bit.

But yeah. Point is, I really haven’t had much to say. That anyone wants to read. Or for that matter, that I want to write. But, one of my brain ramblings has produced a series of thought that (I think) are actually post worthy, so here goes:

I always have these high plans for things… like this year, I started out with some goals (some realistic, some... well, will take some work, at best). And I go along pretty well for a while on the adrenaline of accomplishing things... I think, this is awesome! And then I miss a day (or whatever)… and I spend so much time beating myself up over the missed part, and feeling like I screwed everything up (I tell myself I’m good at that), that I miss the next one, and the one after... and after a while, I’m like, what’s the point? I've already "fallen off the wagon"... so I might as well not try (after all, I'll probably just mess up again).

And then I get to a point, again, where I’m faced with the consequences of not having done whatever (for example... having 8000 loads of laundry to do, because I put it off… who knew we owned so many clothes? Or having gained weight because I was too tired/lazy to cook, and we ate fast food several times during the week)... and I say to myself... Self, if you had done what you were supposed to, you wouldn’t be here. So I jump back on the wagon, and resolve to do better. Next time. Next week. Next year. Whatever.

I’m working through the FlyLady system... which I really like. But I’ve been doing the crash-and-burn cycle for like, 6 months. I keep reading: "You’re not behind, just jump in where you are", and I think... sure, I’ll jump in. As soon as I get caught up on the dishes. As soon as the laundry is done. As soon as the house is clean. As soon as I lose the 10 pounds I gained over the holidays. As soon as I find the perfect notebook to hold my control journal. As soon as I’m not behind…

The point is, I need to not get so hung up on the "wrongs", and learn to bounce back. Without falling off the wagon. I need to celebrate the "rights", and remember why I’m trying to make changes / do things better. And to see the big picture, not just the tiny corner that says this isn’t working.

So, following that idea, here are the things I’ve accomplished so far this year:

I have started eating healthier, most days of the week (this includes cooking healthier dinners, which has been kind of hit-and-miss, and packing lunch).
I have managed to work out for at least 15 minutes at least twice a week (go ten minute workout dvds!)
I cleaned out one drawer of the dresser and (finally) started using some of the drawer dividers I bought forever ago.
I got (with Chad’s help) almost half of the dvds scanned and into the new cataloging software I bought.
Chad and I cleaned out most of the garage in preparation to make it into a martial arts workout room (this was a huge task).
I’ve been drinking more water (not back up to 8 glasses a day consistently, but working on it).
I have entirely cut out caffeinated soda, and only drink soda at all if I’m out at a restaurant.

If it makes you happy...

2008-01-23T10:39:00.000-06:00

Things that make me happy:

Warm Januarys. (Even if it's cold today).
paintImmediately(). Because there's nothing like immediate feedback.
Backdoor code hacks that save me time and effort, but are completely transparent to the user.
Pandora. I've said it before, but it bears repeating.
Advil. Without which I would have died of a headache.
Applesauce. With Cinnamon. Who ever invented that should be sainted or something.

The worst is over now and we can breathe again

2008-01-05T23:40:00.000-06:00

I think I broke my toe. And it's the weirdest toe to have broken, too... the second from the smallest toe on my left foot.

I fell down the last three stairs. which kind of put a damper on the rest of my day. But there's not a lot they can do for broken toes, besides xray them and say, "Yep... that's broken." It turned an interesting shade of purple, though.

It's good to be home. Although the whole toe thing might mostly kill my plans for getting the house back in order.

You say it won't happen again

2008-01-03T11:10:00.000-06:00

So it's a new year. Yay for that. And I made resolutions and stuff, which aren't really important at this point, but the basis of all of them was to keep on keeping on... and to take better care of me.

I'm not sure what all is going to happen this year, but I know it's going to be crazy. And weird. And scary. Like last year, but more so. And hopefully a little less drama (no really, I mean it).

Nothing I say will wash it away
I'm standing in the pouring rain
You say it won't happen again
You're manic, manic
There is a chemical in your brain
It's pouring sunshine and rage
You can never know what to expect
You're manic, manic

Slow as Christmas...

2007-12-19T14:08:00.000-06:00

So I have less than two hours until my vacation starts. And I'm totally out of motivation to accomplish things. I was supposed to have a meeting now, but it was canceled... thus furthering my unmotivatedness.

And there are still like, a million things to do when I get home... again, not helping the "get things done now" motivation. *sigh*

We'll love you just the way you are / If you're perfect

2007-12-17T16:14:00.000-06:00

I think I'm finally done Christmas shopping. For the most part. I *think*. Sheesh. I don't think it's quite Christmas in my head yet, despite the fact that I've sung the Christmas Tree song to the tree every time Chad has turned it on (and Chad is counting the days until he can ban that song for another 11 months). I'm hoping I'll feel more like Christmas when I get back to Memphis/Huntsville, where it's cold, and everyone is wearing sweaters and stuff. "Going home" for Christmas kind of helps set it apart from the rest of the year... there's something about pulling into the driveway after a long trip when it's dark and freezing cold, and being greeted by family and (warm!) food that always makes me feel like Christmas.

And then, you know, the family drama catches up with you, and then it *really* feels like Christmas. You know what I mean. You can't have a family gathering without at least a strong undercurrent of this kind of drama. And since I only come home a couple of times a year.... it all hits at once.

So what did I accomplish this year, from my family's perspective?

I once again failed to produce grandchildren for my parents (through lack of trying on my part, which makes them sad).
I left school, which is probably good, since I was getting too educated for my own good (or something like that). In any case, they're pretty sure this should hasten the arrival of grandchildren.
I sold out to the corporate man, and work for the devil. Which might not hasten the arrival of grandchildren. Since I'm now a "career woman". And stuff.

In all seriousness, I think my parents are more or less proud of me. But they make no secret of the fact that they would be *prouder* if they had pictures of grandchildren to show off. Because that's what it's all about, in the end. Or something.

You wait and see when the smoke clears

2007-12-13T16:02:00.000-06:00

Lessons for the day (more for archival benefit than because you guys will be interested...):

You can't use relative path names for images that you want to load from jars. You have to use a ClassLoader to getResource().
It takes about 3 hours to determine this, if you forget that you can see the console output *if you run the jar from the command line* instead of trying to load it through Java WebStart.
It takes about 10 minutes to fix this problem, thanks to Find/Replace.
You cannot load files into a File object by their filename (even if you use getResource) if they are stored in a jar. Apparently, jarring them cause them to not be files any more (I know, it makes no sense to me either, but that's the best answer I could come up with from the forums). You need to use ClassLoader.getResourceAsStream() to put the jarred file directly into an input stream, skippign hte file object all together.
It takes another three hours of [Run the program in Eclipse. See that it works. Jar the project. Sign the jar. Run the jar through WebStart. See that it's broken.] repeated, ad nauseum, and googling various variations on the theme of "jar read from file" before you remember that you can run the jar from the command line. And get the exception output, with the error name, and google that.
It takes about 30 seconds to fix this problem, once you know how.

And, if you spend all day debugging all this stuff... you get no real quantifiable work accomplished.

laaaa la la la la-la-la-la, la-la la la la-laaaa

2007-12-07T14:33:00.000-06:00

All day long. This song has been in my head. I haven't played Katamari in months. Months, I tell you!

It's one of those random songs that gets stuck in your head, and you have to fight to keep from singing it... it's actually kind of funny.

At least I know all the words. I'm just sayin'.

Live in hill top mansions / driving sixteen cars

2007-12-01T21:20:00.000-06:00

In case you wondered, Rock Band is awesome. I'm so gonna sneak down to the living room and play while Chad's asleep. And I'm gonna play as the singer. And no one will be there to laugh at me. Ha.

So we now have an XBox 360. So someday (when I get it), I'll be able to play Beautiful Katamari. And that makes me happy.

And the quote of the day:
You can't squeegie a gorilla!

Meme

2007-11-27T15:04:00.000-06:00

What is your occupation? I have a job title, but I don't remember it. Usability Professional works, I suppose.
What color are your socks right now? lavender?
What are you listening to right now? Pandora
What was the last thing you ate? Pizza.
Can you drive a stick shift? yes
If you were a crayon, what color would you be? sea green
Last person you spoke to on the phone? Chad
Do you like the person who sent this to you? was sent it as part of a message board. I'm sure she's a nice person, but I don't know her.
How old are you today? 25 and some change.
Favorite drink? chai tea.
What is your favorite sport to watch? poker. Ha!
Have you ever dyed your hair? often.
Pets? yes, dog and cat.
Favorite food? at the moment? cheese danishes.
What was the last movie you watched? Equilibrium.
Favorite day of the year? Christmas -- but it lasts about a week, not one day.
What do you do to vent anger? let it build up until I can't stand it, then do snarky passive aggressive things until I feel better.
What was your favorite toy as a child? a cabbage patch named Jeremy, but I called him baby germy. I dragged him lots of places, mostly by his foot. I found him about ten years back, in a box, missing one leg (the one I dragged him by). I think my mom finally got rid of him while I was in school...
Fall or spring? as long as it's warmish...
Hugs or kisses? depends on from who :-)
Cherries or Blueberry? either
Do you want your friends to email you back? well... this isn't an email.
Who is most likely to respond? Anybody that wants to
Who is least likely to respond? people who don't read this?
Living arrangements? in a house, with Chad.
When was the last time you cried?not yesterday?
What is on the floor of your closet? all the stuff i need to put away, lol.
Who is the friend you have had the longest friendship with that you are
sending this to? Not sending it...
What did you do last night? watched heroes.
What is your favorite smell? lavender
What are you afraid of? scary things (duh).
Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? cheese
Favorite breed of dog? heinz 57.
Favorite day of the week? Saturday
How many states have you lived in? 8
Favorite holiday? Christmas
Who's your favorite NFL team? I don't keep up with it...
Favorite comedy TV show? I don't keep up with the comedy's much these days...
Do you own a cell phone? Yes
Krispy Kream or Dunkin' Donuts? Krispy Kreme

I'm thankful for...

2007-11-27T13:10:00.001-06:00

So, a bit late, but I'm posting it nonetheless. Things I'm thankful for:

Good friends. Both the kind that live close enough to come eat with us, and the kind that don't :-)
Good times. And snickers martinis. And good times while drinking said martinis.
Dancing. (this includes happy dances of all sorts)
Good food. Like turkey. And pie.
Massages. Seriously.
Books. I have way too many on my to-read list. But I love them anyway. :-)

Mad crazy randomness. It's awesome.

2007-11-12T09:50:00.000-06:00

Went to RenFest last weekend. Going again this weekend. It's awesome. :-)
I didn't buy the like, eight Egyptian statues they were selling that I didn't have... But I did buy a cool Egypt dagger. And a shirt. And a ring. But not a jingly ankle bracelet. I'm gonna hafta make that one.
It's still really hot in Houston. For some reason, this is upsetting me less and less the longer I stay here :-) Although it is a bit weird to wear shorts and tank tops out Christmas shopping.
Family drama is always interesting, and kind of odd. Christmas will be fun, all around. I'm just sayin'.
I am hopelessly behind in my writing. But I caught up a little yesterday. Sort of. We'll see how it goes this week, as we'll have house-guests from Thursday until Tuesday.
I hate NetBeans. With the fiery passion of a thousand suns. No really, I hate it that much. Even more than I hate Internet Explorer. Which is amazing.

Smart Habits

2007-11-12T09:22:00.000-06:00

Trying counts, no?

Habits I have already started working on:

Planning meals for the week, every Friday/Saturday. I totally have this one down. Plan Menus on Friday or Saturday, go grocery shopping Sunday night.
Getting the dishes done every night, not leaving anything until morning. Not as good as I should have been... but better?
Keep up with the laundry. All except the folding part.
Taking time to take care of me
- Actually using the Clinique face wash system I've been claiming to use for like, 3 years, but haven't actually used as I was worried about having to buy more when I ran out. not so great
- Flossing my teeth. oh dear. Once?
- Taking time to read/do something else just for me. Ah, one I didn't screw up. Managed to do something for me at least 5 times this week...
- Take my vitamins. Every day. At least twice a day. blah. Got the calcium chews, but not really doing that great on everything else.
- Write, every day, for NaNoWriMo (so far so good, I'm only a little behind my goals...) Missed two days. But wrote all the others, yay!

New Habits for the week:

Spend at least 30 minutes working on a current project (otherwise I'll never finish them all).

Smart Habit Saturday

2007-11-03T00:19:00.000-06:00

So Ive revamped the habits thing. Here's where I am this week:

Habits I have already started working on:

Planning meals for the week, every Friday/Saturday.
Getting the dishes done every night, not leaving anything until morning.
Keep up with the laundry.
Taking time to take care of me
- Actually using the Clinique face wash system I've been claiming to use for like, 3 years, but haven't actually used as I was worried about having to buy more when I ran out.
- Flossing my teeth.
- Taking time to read/do something else just for me.
- Take my vitamins. Every day. At least twice a day.

New Habits for the week:

Write, every day, for NaNoWriMo (so far so good, I'm only a little behind my goals...)

It's true, we're all a little insane...

2007-11-02T14:38:00.000-06:00

Just so as you know, I totally suck at writing. (Not that I'm giving up, I'm just saying is all). The chances that anyone will ever get to read the novel? Practically zero. I mean, really. I'm hesitant to even post an excerpt on my NaNoWriMo profile, it's *that bad*. ~Disclaimer: I know there are worse writers out there, but I've also read enough to know that I wouldn't read anything that was as poorly written as what I write. I might not be entirely objective about this. But it's how I see it.~

Odd issues with writing... I feel the need to write an abstract. Too many journal papers. Sheesh.

Also, I have this weird desire to "get things right", and instead of making a note to look something up, I have to drop my story and spend time in Google trying to determine which is more correct - shawabti? or shabti? Or, how far is the Valley of the Kings from Giza? How long does it take to fly from a US hub (say, Houston) to Cairo? Does it take longer if you're on a budget?

Blah. Research.

I'm hoping to make my target word count today... somewhere around 3400 words. I'm sitting just shy of 2300 now. And I'm going out tonight, won't be back until after 10pm.

Maybe tomorrow I can get ahead. Ha!

Here I come back from the dead! (holy craaaap)

2007-10-30T13:39:00.000-06:00

I'm not dead. Seriously. I mean, I could have died, from the head cold I had, but I didn't. I have just been way busy and stuff. (and by way busy, I mostly mean lazy).

So. New things (and some old ones):

Finally doing NaNoWriMo this year. At least attempting. Since I always said I would when I got out of school, and hey, I’m not in school any more. No more excuses! As such, I spent I don’t know, maybe a hour today trying to figure out how to friend people on the NaNoWriMo site… I mean, there’s no search or anything. Turns out, they disable the search during high traffic times (like you know, two days before the thing kicks off. Yikes, the site was slow), so as to make the site faster. So, those of you WriMo’ers out there, friend me if you like… I’m lydaaleaxander (bet you wouldn’t have guessed that one). Funny note: WriMo’ers, in my head, sounds like Rye Mowers. Which brings to mind images of lawn mowers mowing a lawn made up of loaves of bread. Which, in my head, is funny.

I have a bread machine. And, I managed to make a loaf of bread, which turned out pretty nicely, considering I tried to screw it up at least a dozen times in the process (who knew it would be so difficult?). Now that I’m over the learning curve, I might have to make another loaf… but that would require finishing off the loaf I made last night, which will take a couple of days (in theory). The greatest part? I only paid $15 for the machine. At a yard sale. About two hours after I told Chad I was going to put one on my Christmas list.

I have fallen on and off the “good habits” bandwagon so many times that I think I’m going to install a spring on my behind. It would make things easier. Plus, I could sing Tigger songs, which would be fun. At any rate, I’ll be jumping back into Smart Habit Saturday this week (that’s the plan). My new habit will be to write every day (bet you didn’t see that one coming, either).

I’m working on cleaning out my feed reader. See, when I started with feed readers, I said, omg! This is the best thing eVar!, and promptly subscribed to the whole internet. Or, at least, 20% of it. As such, if you suddenly start getting a million emails from me, linking to sites that you saw on Digg about two months ago…. That’s why. I have like 200 things starred to go back and read/watch. But, I have reduced the number of total feeds I subscribe to by an order of magnitude (and still reducing). So it might get better.

I think we have nailed down our Christmas plans, so if you want to know when we’ll be in Huntsville or Memphis, ask and I’ll let you know. I do not, however, know when Family is going to take up our time in either city, although it’s a safe bet that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are taken. Also, while in Huntsville, we’ll be staying at my brother’s, in case that matters to anyone.

Angleton, TX<, isn’t a particularly interesting place to kill 3.5 hours. I mean, they have a Walmart, and a Kroger, but not much else. (Why was I killing time? I had to report to Jury Duty at 8:30am, and once they sorted everything out (around 10am) they asked my panel to come back for a case at 1:30pm. But at about 1:29pm, the case settled, so they never got around to picking a jury/going to trial. It took them another 20 minutes to figure out that we weren’t really needed there. Awesome stuff).

Book Meme

2007-10-25T15:11:00.000-06:00

Total Number of Books Owned
Oh dear. A lot. And by a lot, I mean a room full. More books than I have shelves for.

Last Book Bought
Umm... Strong's Exhaustive Concordance? I think? Although I pre-ordered a Lemony Snicket book that should be coming soon-ish...

Last Book Read
Elsie's Girlhood. Such a great series... eventually, I'll have all of them.

Five books that mean a lot to me
Lord Of The Rings (J.R.R. Tolkien): because my dad read me and my siblings the whole series. And because they are just good books.
Elsie Dinsmore (Martha Finley): The first book that ever made me cry. And still makes me cry. Every time.
Crocodile on the Sandbank (Elizabeth Peters): THe first of the Amelia Peabody series... which I have read soooo many times.
The Bridge (Jeri Massi): First in the Bracken Trilogy. Typical princess in hiding type story... but one of my favorites.
Vienna Prelude (Bodie Thoene): I have this thing for series... my first foray into historical fiction, very well written, sweet and yet not mushy, graphic and yet not horrific.

Noooooooooo!

2007-10-19T21:10:00.000-06:00

AAAGGGGHHHH! I mean, I totally saw it coming, right? and yet... still sad. *sigh*

2007-10-01T11:55:00.000-06:00

lol... ain't that the truth?

Actually, having been told horror stories about Texas by my mother for most of my life (which really isn't fair, as I don't think she's ever been to Texas?), I was prepared to move right into the depths of hell when I moved here.

I hate to break it to you, Mom, but it's not nearly as horrible as you think. Granted, I've only seen this little corner of it, but still.

Although, I think we're giving hell a run for it's money, temperature wise. I'm just sayin'.

2007-09-28T08:43:00.000-06:00

In case you're wondering, she didn't die.

And in the end, that's all that really matters, right? (Note: this is not technically a spoiler for anything, since I'm not elaborating on the who or the where or the in what. If you figure it out... that's not my fault).

Update on the lost kitty. He found his parents. Chad had taken him to the vet (on the way back to our house) to check for a chip... no dice. But then our building foreman for our neighborhood said our neighbors down the street had lost a cat... Turns out, the cat rode from our house to JSC (not a short trip!) on top of Chad's spare tire under the truck. Crazy stuff. But he's home now, actually was home a couple of days after we found him, so all is good.

And I found an AWANA program here, and am the newest Cubbie leader there. Yay for 3 & 4 year olds! And being given an excuse to sing Father Abraham, and other silly children's songs, at least once a week.

And pumpkin seeds. Yay for pumpkin seeds, too.

Reminder: RenFest is fast approaching. We only have one spare bed and an air mattress... so reserve space at our house early (& often. Like voting!) :-)

Can't feel the force that holds me down / but I believe in gravity

2007-09-10T14:03:00.000-06:00

So… anyone want a kitty? Because we might have an extra, if no one claims it… Chad rescued a lost kitty at JSC (very domestic, friendly, with a collar and no tag)… when he called the security people, they said it would probably be put down at the end of the day if no one claimed it.

So we’re bringing it home, and we'll try to find the real owners. Meanwhile, we'll have an extra cat in the house, which should be interesting and all that… hopefully Kitty won't eat her.

Otherwise, we're our normal boring selves. I'm working, Chad's working, we play games sometimes, and yeah… that's about it. Boring people, I know.

xkcd

2007-09-05T07:35:00.001-06:00

I love xkcd. Comics like that seriously make my day sometimes :-)

Quote of the Day:

2007-08-23T12:36:00.000-06:00

(from a daily thought e-mail I get)
When you re-read a classic you do not see in the book more than you did before. You see more in you than there was before.
~ Clifton Fadiman

Still sorting out life but I'm doing alright

2007-08-22T20:01:00.000-06:00

It's 9pm, and I'm actually thinking about just going to bed. How freakin' lame is that?

It has been a crazy week, though... or couple of weeks... geez, a month? the summer? Suffice it to say, the craziness abounds.

Chad's schedule has been crazy, doing ISTs and other cool acronyms... which has given me a couple of evenings to chill, and have the house to myself. This is in theory pretty cool, but I have yet to figure out how to make it work. For instance, Monday night I reviewed a list of things that Manda suggested doing the last time she had the house to herself... and ended up doing none of the listed things, and instead watching City Confidential, followed by crappy reality TV (WifeSwap), followed by a really odd documentary type show about a family that has 13 kids and only spend $150 a week at the grocery store. I got some cleaning done in there, too, but mostly just watched crappy TV.

Tonight I watched City Confidential, and then got sucked into a documentary about a serial killer who eventually got caught and put on death row, but they never found half the people he killed... yeah. Really healthy TV habits. But I got some other cleaning stuff done, read the first couple of chapters of a book someone lent me, and now I'm ready to call it a night I guess...

In other news, starting September 1 I'll be a real full time employee at Landmark, doing usability and like, getting paid and stuff. And benefits. Like a real person. Isn't that amazing?

In other other news, apparently my brother tore his rotator cuff at work... so now instead of stocking produce, he's greeting people at the door. So if you happne through the Sparkman Drive Wal-mart between 4am and noon (no clue what days), you should wave at him and stuff.

And for the record, I'm not terribly fond of hurricanes. Phenomenal cosmic (destructive) power aside, the build up is annoying. And people freak out, and panic, thus causing other people to panic, and it's not fun. I like tornadoes better. They destroy smaller areas, they don't tend to come with floods, and you only have a few minutes to panic and freak out.

That being said, we have an evacuation plan, and I have now put my finger on everything we would need to take with us (a surprisingly small list, really, which makes me wonder... why do we have so much other stuff?).

Anyway. I'm falling asleep whilst typing, which is always bad. I'm going to quit fighting it, and go to bed, which is pretty sad, actually).

Dumb girls

2007-08-16T13:01:00.000-06:00

Ok, so I'm a member of an online community of female IT & computing professionals. Which is fine, but occasionally they go of on a tangent that I find entirely not worthwhile. Or just plain stupid.

For instance, the current campaign is to boycott a given company because of an ad they had printed somewhere... The ad has a picture of a fairly attractive woman, and said something like "Don't worry, our servers won't go down on you either". [I'll look for a link to it later, I know someone Digged it Edit: link.]. Now, I thought this was pretty funny when I saw it several days ago. The online community? not so much. People are selling stock, writing letters, complaining to NASA (who buys from this company), etc.

Exactly what is the deal? I understand why some people would be offended by the sexual reference, but why are women taking this as a dig on women in computing? What about it is offensive to women, in general?

Alarm clocks screaming / monsters calling my name

2007-08-08T14:17:00.000-06:00

Umm.... so this sounds like the worst idea ever. Who would sign up for this? If someone ever said to me, hey, let me take the worst most terrifying moments of your life and recreate them in virtual reality so you can relive them... I would run, far far away. I have no idea of the therapeutic value of such things... but yeah, it seems like a really bad idea.

Got up on the wrong side of life today...

2007-08-03T15:00:00.001-06:00

I'm in a really odd, kind of rant-y mood today. No idea why. Really.
These are (a few) of the random things that have bothered me today:

The word data is plural. Data is literally a bunch of "things"
not just one. So why do we say "the data is on the server" as opposedto "the data are on the server"? You would never say "The dogs is onthe porch" (unless you were from some geographic regions, in which case you probably aren't concerned with whether data is singular or plural.
Why is the world so concerned with having "stuff"? You know, things, stuff, toys, items that you don't need that cost extra money and then you may or may not use them... I'm fast becoming less of a "stuff" person (we'll assume books don't count, here). I'm really tired of the materialism, the "how much do you make?" implying that making more money makes you more valuable as a person. And when did living within your means go out of style?
I think the pop-up previews that outlook puts up when you get a new message are the worst invention ever. Not because I don't use them.... I do, all the time. But because too many people overuse them. Read the whole e-mail before you respond, not just the one line that displays. I try to keep it short, but really, you could take the time to read it.
Scrum uses the most bizarre terminology ever. I dislike being dubbed a "chicken" (although the alternative title, "pig", wasn't much better). And what are "sprints", anyway? Why can't they call them "iterations", like everyone else?
I'm annoyed by "news" that isn't newsworthy (imho). Bridges collapsing = news. Pregnant celebs choosing county lockup over city lockup != news. Especially when the story ran yesterday, and was rewritten (with no new information) for today's news. Stuff like this is what clogs up the tubes of the intarweb. Srsly.
I really hate the term "starting a family". Um, I already have a family started, yo. Chad + Deedee = family. If someone asked me, "do you have any family?" I would say, "yes, I'm married, my parents/siblings live in Alabama, and my in-laws live in Mississippi". Not "no, I haven't got around to starting one yet".

And since that rounds out six points, I will stop ranting.

Smart Habits (or, how I sucked at life this week)

2007-07-29T20:56:00.000-06:00

We're going to pretend that last week didn't happen, because I totally sucked at life and got nothing accomplished habit-wise. I might have even slipped back a bit, on the journaling. So no new habits this week... just work on keeping up with what I have.

Habits I have already started working on:

Try to journal (in a paper journal) for at least five minutes every night. If nothing else, record how well I followed my habits that day.
Planning meals for the week, every Friday/Saturday.
Getting the dishes done every night, not leaving anything until morning.
Keep up with the laundry.
Taking time to take care of me... This includes:
- Actually using the Clinique face wash system I've been claiming to use for like, 3 years, but haven't actually used as I was worried about having to buy more when I ran out.
- Flossing my teeth.
- Taking time to read/do something else just for me.

New Habits for the week:

Take my vitamins. Every day. At least twice a day.
Drink a cup of milk every morning.

Spoilers and such...

2007-07-25T13:25:00.001-06:00

Harry Potter 7: They All Die In The End, And It Turns Out Voldemort Was His Mum

This was the headline on a story in one of my feeds... which I thought was really funny.

I read the book, and loved it, I'll read it again soon... but I can't say much about it :-) I'll be glad to discuss it over e-mail, if you like. I was happy, though, that one of my more obscure predictions was dead on, though.

Menu Plan Monday

2007-07-23T17:59:00.001-06:00

An online group devoted to meal planning every week, hosted by Org Junkie.

Monday: Stovetop Easy Chicken Bake
Tuesday: Tuna Helper
Wednesday: Chicken and Parmesan Sauce over angel hair pasta
Thursday: One Pan Taco Beef & Noodle Skillet
Friday: Chicken and Veggie Rice Bake

Smart Habits

2007-07-20T07:27:00.001-06:00

It's that time again.

Habits I have already started working on:

Try to journal (in a paper journal) for at least five minutes every night. If nothing else, record how well I followed my habits that day. 6/7, missed Saturday (it was really really late when i got read to go to bed).
Planning meals for the week, every Friday/Saturday. I actually did this early this week, to take advantage of being off of work on Friday :-)
Getting the dishes done every night, not leaving anything until morning. 6/7, with the off day being Wednesday night. I was too dead tired to do anything worthwhile.
Keep up with the laundry. So far so good. Yay!
Taking time to take care of me... This includes:
- Actually using the Clinique face wash system I've been claiming to use for like, 3 years, but haven't actually used as I was worried about having to buy more when I ran out. Good stuff.
- Flossing my teeth. around 12/14? (morning and night?) this week... I'm getting better.
- Taking time to read/do something else just for me. Working on a book on forming habits... read Harry Potter 7, then 6... Going to reread 7 again tonight and tomorrow, probably. :-)

New Habits for the week:

Take my vitamins. Every day. At least twice a day.
Drink a cup of milk every morning.

Bridge to Terabithia

2007-07-19T20:49:00.000-06:00

I finally watched it. It is an awesome movie. Almost as good as the book, and made me cry every bit as hard. Not sure Chad really enjoyed it though...

But yeah. Five stars. I really liked the girl they got to play Leslie. And it had the girl from Hitchhiker's Guide, too.

Close your eyes, but keep your mind wide open.